What she wants
by Kycklingk
Summary: The Rum Tum Tugger can handle most things, but can he handle losing his fan club to someone else?
1. Chapter 1

**Second fanfic and I would love a review, let me know!**

 **I don't own cats :(**

* * *

Old Deuteronomy had started to realise that he could no longer keep his secret. At least not all of it. He looked down at the little kitten on the ground and did his best to not acknowledge the fact that it could talk. But it wasn't just a word here or there, it was sentences and most importantly, it was questions.

"Are you my dad?" it asked. "Do I have any brothers or sisters?" it went on. "If I am a Jellicle cat, why can't I meet other Jellicles?" Those big eyes demanded some kind of answer and the Jellicle leader could only laugh and put off answering 'until tomorrow' for so long. "I know what tomorrow is now, so I know you said it yesterday and that means I will know today isn't that right?" the kitten asked both demanding and proud of knowing about how time works.

He had taken the kitten in when she was just done nursing her mother and just to think about that day made Old Deuteronomy sad and angry. It was the day of the Jellicle ball and they had all been struck by the beautiful 'memory' that Grizabella sang to them. Old Deuteronomy had not thought twice about choosing her to go to the Heaviside layer and all the other Jellicles had been convinced she was the one who deserved it most that year. When they stood together on the old tire Grizabella had quickly shared her secret with him and in that moment he had felt sympathy for her and promised to do everything he could. It was afterwards that he had come to realise what a selfish act she had done and that she once again had run away from things when they got too hard. In his most bitter moments he thought that at least this was the last time she did it and in his most forgiving moments he was happy that he had given her the promise so that she could go in peace to the Heaviside layer. But still he was more often angry with her than forgiving. As they started to rise above the others Grizabella had confided in him that she had given birth not long ago and that the kitten was just done nursing. But it could not survive on its own. It needed someone to protect it and she couldn't do it she said. She had left the kitten in a safe place for the night and refused to tell him where until he agreed to take care of it. Old Deuteronomy had never been able to turn down a kitten in need, but that didn't mean that he didn't think that kittens were best raised by their parents. He had of course said yes and she had given him the location. He felt good about the decision then but now he had harder to forgive the old queen for leaving her kitten like that. He hadn't told anyone that night and now six weeks later the secret wasn't motivated to be kept. At least he couldn't keep the kitten a secret from the others, he needed the help from the tribe in raising it and he knew that the kitten needed the other cats of the tribe as well. He let out a deep sigh. 'I will not tell anyone how she came to be with me, but I have to take her to the others'.

"I know tomorrow is today, please tell me" the little kitten pleaded with her big eyes staring up into his own, old ones.

"You are absolutely right, you have learned so much about how time works" he said to buy himself some time.

"Can I meet the other Jellicles?" the kitten asked having a hard time to sit still.

"You can meet them, I will take you to them tonight, do you know when that is?" he asked her squinting his eyes and smiling.

"It is when the moon comes out and it's forever until then!" the kitten complained.

"Then I have time to answer the rest of your questions" he said and made the kitten jump circles around him, asking everything she could come up with. "One question at the time" he demanded and pulled her up to sit in his lap.

"Are you my dad?" the kitten said very serious. This was the question he was the least proud he had waited with.

"No" he said with a sigh. "I don't know who your dad is, but you can rely on me as you would have on your dad" he said firmly to make sure the kitten knew how important she was to him.

"Who is my mom?" the kit continued.

"Your mom..." he started. "Your mom was dying when I met you two and she begged me to take care of you, and I always will" he said mostly sticking to the truth. "But she has passed on to the Heaviside layer now" he decided to conclude the events and the kitten seemed ok with that for now. He had told her about the Heaviside layer when he described the Jellicles and the Jellicle ball to her before she had started to talk.

"What is my full name? You only call me Iz" she said moving on to other things of importance for a kitten that just started to talk and discover the world around her.

"Your full name is Izabella, a beautiful name for a kitten, I have picked it myself" he said scratching her behind her ear and nuzzling her. He had chosen the name early as a reminder of her mother but had then started to become more and more sure about the harm it would do her to know about her mother abandoning her like that. She could keep the name but she would never know why she got it.

"It is pretty, do you think the others will call me Iz or Izabella?" she asked.

"You can tell them which you prefer or they might call you both, or even Bella, there are a lot of cats to meet and they might all like your name in different ways" he said with a smile.

"Do I have brothers and sisters?" the kitten wanted to know next.

"No, but you will grow up around lots of other cats who you can play with just like brothers and sisters" he said and saw the little kittens face go from sad to happy again about meeting the others. "Is there anything else you want to know right now or shall we take a look how the moon is doing on its way up in the sky?" he continued as he had seen the day darken for some time now.

"The moon, the moon!" the little kitten cheered.

Old Deuteronomy picked Izabella up and they went out from the old barn where they had been living for the last six weeks. He was sure there would be more and difficult questions to answer ahead of them but for now he was pleased with the way it had went. He knew that it would be very tiring for the kitten to meet all the Jellicles that night and he decided that he would stay at the junkyard for as long as she needed him to, before she could live with the other kittens at Jennyanydots. Little Izabella had grown very important to him and when he looked down on her he couldn't see any signs of her looking like her mother and he hoped that she would not grow up to act like her either.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm writing a few chapters to see if the story goes somewhere and this seems to do so, let me know what you think! I'm posting a few more that I've already written but love input on those and what you hope for future ones :)**

 **no cats for me to own..**

* * *

The kitten had been so excited about meeting the other cats that Old Deuteronomy was starting to think there was nothing that scared her at all. He had noticed that this kitten was quite fearless about most things and she usually managed to make things turn out the way she wanted them to. It had been really easy in the beginning when they stayed together. She mostly listened and did as he asked her but as soon as she had set her mind to knowing more about the Jellicles and herself he was defenceless. He had seen this kind of stubbornness in getting what you want in one of his own sons and he chuckled to himself as he remembered that there was no doing anything about it.

When they got closer to the junkyard Old Deuteronomy realised that even though the kitten wasn't scared she had gotten so worked up that she might just fall asleep as soon as they entered. He saw her letting out a big yawn and decided that they might as well start out small. 'Let's start with Jenny and Jellylorum to begin with' he thought to himself as he picked up Iz and carried her the rest of the way.

* * *

As they entered the junkyard Izabella was sleeping in his arms and he carefully made his way towards Jenny's den. He was just about to knock on the door when he felt a paw on his shoulder.

"Hello dad, what brings you- and who might this be?" Munkustrap said lowering his voice and turning his eyes towards the kitten in his arms.

"Hello Munk, this is Izabella and she is the reason I am sneaking around like this. She just fell asleep." he added a bit unsure about how to continue since he had not prepared to introduce her to one of his sons yet. "She has been staying with me for the last six weeks to have some peace and quiet but I thought it was time to introduce her to the rest of the tribe." he said. It was just as well to let Munkustrap meet her first, he was the protector of the tribe and he would have a lot of responsibilities regarding Iz anyway.

"So she must have turned up right after the ball then? Where did you find her?" Old Deuteronomy bit his tongue for giving away the date so exactly, but that didn't seem to mean that much to his son anyway, he just connected the timeline.

"She was given to me by an older queen who was dying and I was asked to care for her as she grew up. She was done nursing and has been in perfect health so I just thought she could use some peace and quiet during the first weeks." he repeated himself.

"You should have let Jenny take a look still, don't forget that you are getting old, you can't take on all responsibilities for the tribe, we would love to help you you know." said Munkustrap and Old Deuteronomy sighed. His son had grown so mature and was acting just like the protector the tribe needed. He smiled proudly.

"I know, I know, but let an old man listen to his gut feeling for once, this kitten needed somewhere calm to start her life." he said with a chuckle. He didn't want anyone to know that the main reason he had kept Iz from the others was to see if she looked anything like Grizabella or if she had any memories of her mother.

"I trust you" said Munkustrap smiling back at him. "But from now on we will all take part in raising little Izabella" he continued and carefully scratched her behind under the chin. The kitten opened her eyes and looked surprised but fully awake in a second.

"Are you one of the Jellicles?" she asked and tried to climb over to Munkustraps arms instead. Munk just looked at Old Deuteronomy as he picked her up.

"Iz is not that shy and she is very eager to meet you all" he said with a smile thinking that this will probably work just fine.

"Hello Izabella" Munkustrap said. "I am Munkustrap but you can call me Munk and yes I am a Jellicle cat." he continued and felt immediately his heart warming up to the kitten.

"I don't know if I want to be called Izabella or Iz or Bella, which one do you like?" she asked with a demanding look and Munk could tell this kitten is not someone you say no to that easily. He just raised his eyebrow towards Old Deuteronomy and got an eye roll back.

"I like Izabella but I might try out the others in time as well, they are all very pretty names" he said diplomatically.

"What is going on out here?" said Jenny as she opened the door. "Are you coming in or are you gonna stand out here and keep- oh and who might this be?" the old queen said squinting her eyes and smiling towards Izabella.

"This is Izabella" said Old Deuteronomy and sighed. "We might as well go inside so she doesn't have to meet everybody at once"

"But I want to meet everybody!" Iz was protesting as Munk carried her inside.

"You will eventually" Munk smiled down at her and saw her reaching out to touch Jenny to climb over to her instead. "Here she comes Jenny, she's not shy" he said laughing as he helped her over to Jenny's arms.

"You will have no problem at all blending in with the other kittens" Jenny said to Izabella and nuzzled her face. Iz tensed at the comment about the other kittens.

"Are they here? Can I meet them? Can I play with them? Can they be my brothers and sisters?" she asked looking around the room.

"We might as well take her there" said Old Deuteronomy with a laugh. "When she sets her mind to something there is no stopping her" Both pleased and and a bit heavy at heart by the realisation that Iz had almost forgot he was there.

* * *

All the adult cats were nervous as they entered the room where the rest of the kittens were. This was always a struggle even with the ones that were not shy. Meeting so many new faces at once was a challenge and Old Deuteronomy reminded himself of the fact that these were probably the first kittens Iz saw in her life. Before Jenny could introduce her she was in the air, going straight for the centre of everybodys attention and landed with a bit of a tumble among the kittens. Old Deuteronomy just shook his head and laughed, 'why did I even worry?' he thought to himself. Izabella stood up on her hind legs and introduced herself to the others and then they all started playing like she was an old friend who had been away for the day. The older cats laughed together and decided to sit down and talk as they watched over the little ones.

"Why on earth have you kept that little angel from us for so long?" asked Jennyanydots looking over towards the kittens and smiling.

"It's a long story" he said not feeling like repeating himself again. "But I think she is more than ready now, we will be staying here at the junkyard and I had planned on using my old den for the both of us, but maybe she would like to join the others kittens right away. Would that be ok with you and Jellylorum?" Old Deuteronomy asked carefully.

"Well of course it is!" Jenny said, speaking for them both. "I can't wait for Jelly to meet her, she is lovely! But she seems to be a bit of a handful to take care of, how have you managed so far?" The old queen asked with her trademarked mother hen-voice.

"It has been fine" Old Deuteronomy laughed. "She hasn't been talking that much and has listened to me but I think that when I told her about the Jellicle ball a few nights ago she set her mind to going here and I was helplessly drowned in questions and demands" he said still laughing at the thought.

"Then you need us more than ever" Jenny said with determination. "She is everybodys responsibility now"

"Jenny is right" said Munkustrap. "Both you and Izabella needs this. By the way, how come she is named Izabella?"

"It's after her mother" said Old Deuteronomy before he could stop himself. "I mean.. eh.. that's what her mother had called her before she died" he said realising this was a secret harder to keep than he thought. Oh well as soon as Izabella was well established among the tribe he wouldn't spend as much time there and the risk of saying too much would lower. And she seemed to be settling in fast so all he needed to do was hold it together for a little while longer.

"It's a beautiful name" Munk said and the others agreed.

Old Deuteronomy, Munkustrap and Jenny sat talking for a long time as the kittens played in the other end of the room. It had been a while since Old Deuteronomy visited the junkyard and some matters were necessary to go through with the protector of the tribe and the old queen had such an important role that she usually needed to be involved in the planning as well. They looked up surprised as Skimbleshanks entered the door.

"Hello, I'm home- Oh I didn't expect company" he said. "Or that the kittens would be up, is there something wrong dear?" he asked concerned. He usually came home from working at the night train during the kittens long nap and he had left the same time as always this night.

"Oh my, look at the time!" said Jenny embarrassed. "They should have all been to sleep by now, no no, nothing wrong, just some distracting company" Jenny explained already up on her feet and ready to start organizing the nap.

"Let me give you a hand" said Skimble as they all had risen to aid her.

"I can manage perfectly well" the queen assured. "Just sit down and have a cup of tea with the guests" she said and started to direct the kittens into the next door room. Old Deuteronomy gave Iz a nod when she looked up at him for guidance of whether she could go as well.

"So tea it is" said Skimble. "Did I see a new face among the kittens or am I more tired than I thought?" he asked with a chuckle.

"There is a new addition to the tribe" said Old Deuteronomy and smiled. "Her name is Izabella and this is her first day here".

"And everything has worked fine?" Skimble asked concerned. He let Jenny be the mother hen but he was always just one step behind her in the concern of the little ones.

"More than fine" said Munkustrap and started to tell the story of the not so shy kitten arriving.

They laughed together as Skimble served the tea.

"She will settle in fine, _and_ she will be more than a handful it seems" laughed Skimble. "I'm glad you finally brought her so we could help you, will she be staying here right away?" he asked looking only happy at the prospect of caring for another kitten.

"If she wants to, you will learn that you don't have much to say in the matter when it comes to that one" Old Deuteronomy laughed and blinked.

"Well you know everything about kittens like that!" Skimble kept teasing him. "Munkustrap here doesn't know what putting your own wants first even means but that youngest one of yours makes up for it" he said elbowing Munk in the side. Munkustrap had to admit the description of the brothers were spot on.

* * *

Izabella knew that Old Deuteronomy was a cat who seemed worried most of the time but she couldn't really understand why. There was nothing to be afraid of here. Izabella could only remember one time in her life when she had truly been afraid. That moment wasn't that clear and she understood that it was because she had been so young. She remembered the feeling well though. She had been alone in an old barn with no one around. She didn't know why she had been there or who she was supposed to be with instead but she had been afraid. Really afraid. She felt like someone had left her there forever to never come back and that she would never be taken care of again. She had cried and shivered and tried to go look for someone, but she was put in a basket with high sides and she couldn't get up to look out over the edges. Finally she must have fallen asleep there and she remembered a new face looking down at her. An old, grey face but with a smile on it and she had immediately let go of all the fear she felt. 'Hello little one' said the big face looking down at her. 'I bet you had a horrible night, but I will take care of you and everything will be better from now' it said and she trusted the voice from the first word. The big cat had picked her up and when he held her to his chest she could feel that she had been really cold. As the warmth spread from the bigger cat she relaxed and she could not remember more from that night. Ever since that she had felt that she could trust this old cat and he had made sure she heard him say it every day. She had mostly just listened to his stories and followed him and doing whatever he told her to. She wanted him to know that she trusted him and that he could trust her too. But when she realised that this old cat knew a lot of other cats and that he was their leader she couldn't contain herself anymore, she needed to know more and she wanted to meet them all. Ever since that first day she met Old Deuteronomy she had seen that his smile always had a small wrinkle between his eyes. There was always something concerning him but he rarely let her know what it was. When they had arrived at the junkyard and he had talked to the others she realised that he wasn't only concerned about her but about the whole tribe of cats. But she knew what fear felt like and this was nothing like that. She couldn't really see why he had to worry that much, everything had been better as he promised and today was the best day of her life yet.


	3. Chapter 3

When the kittens was to sleep and Old Deuteronomy had made sure Jenny and Skimble could manage he had asked for some time to himself. He needed to think and decided that he would go over to his old den to clean it up since he hadn't been there for so long. It was probably well needed. He had laughed as well at the comment Skimble made about his two sons but it had also made him think. Izabella didn't only share the stubbornness of his youngest son, they did actually have quite a lot more similarities. Izabellas fur was mainly brown going a bit towards red but he had seen that the fur around her neck was thicker and had started to grow longer than on the rest of her body. It seemed that she would soon have a mane just like his son. She was also not only very determined in getting what she wanted, she seemed like shy was the perfect antagonist to describe her with. She had immediately put herself in the middle of everybodys attention and she seemed to enjoy the fact that everybody listened to her when she introduced herself and she was the one taking initiative to starting to play wit the others. 'Let's just hope she doesn't grow up to be as vain though' he thought to himself laughing.

The den started to clean up and Old Deuteronomy realised that he had no bed for the kitten if she wanted to stay with him during their first day there. He thought about going back to the barn to fetch her the basket she had been sleeping in until now but realised that it would take too long to get back and even though there seemed to be nothing to worry about he wanted to be close in case that changed. He sighed and decided that all he really needed was an extra blanket for her to curl up on, it was summer and since she most likely would just stay at Jennys there was no need to go over the top in finding the perfect bed for her. He heard a knock on the door and told whoever to come in.

"Hello dad, Tantomile and Coricopat said that you were here, where have you been, you have been gone forever?" Old Deuteronomy wasn't used to his youngest son being concerned about anything and especially not him.

"Hello Tugger, I should have known I couldn't come here without them knowing about it" he muttered. "I have been taken care of a small kitten who needed some peace and quiet but now I thought she was ready to be brought here" he said as a short recap. "But you never worry about me, they didn't say anything else did they?" he asked trying to fish for the real reason his son was there.

"They said something about an end of an era for me and that I needed to get used to sharing attention with a new young member of the tribe, you know what they sound like, never anything concrete...but...ehm" Tugger continued to stutter very much unlike himself.

"Rum Tum Tugger what queen have you-" Old Deuteronomy said raising his voice before he got cut off.

"No one! Dad, I'm careful with those things, I.. at least I try to be, they must be wrong this time, right?" Tugger said with desperation in his voice. "Are you laughing at me?" he said with panic as Old Deuteronomy couldn't stop himself when he realised what the two psychic cats had referred to.

"I think I know what they meant" he said after catching his breath for a while. He started laughing again as he saw the confused expression on his sons face.

"Come on, just tell me!" Tugger pleaded.

"You will see in time, but it doesn't involve you being a father this time, but you keep being careful around the queens" he added with a stern face. "You are not mature enough to take on a responsibility like that"

"Hah! Believe me I'm doing my best to avoid that!" Tugger said getting his usual cocky tone back to the voice.

"Everlasting Cat..." he muttered. "Do you have an extra blanket?" he asked instead changing the subject.

"Yeah sure I have lots, just come by and grab as many as you need, I don't need any this time of the year" Tugger said puffing out his mane and hooking his paws to the belt before leaving Old Deuteronomy in his den.

* * *

Izabella had woken up earlier than all the other kittens. Her first instinct was to wake everybody up again to see if they wanted to play with her but when she had lived with Old Deuteronomy she learned that even though he didn't object to her waking him up he rarely seemed to liked it. It would probably be best to let the others sleep as long as they wanted or until one of the older cats came in. Izabella's full intention was to stay in the room until that happened but she had only laid down a couple of minutes before she got bored. In the barn she had been sleeping in an old basket and if she woke up early she couldn't get out of it herself, but now she was laying in the middle of the room with nothing stopping her. 'Maybe I could go explore just a little bit since the others was just sleeping anyway?' she thought and started to carefully get up to not wake anyone else up. Now that she had decided to wait she didn't want anybody to wake up by accident. At first she had thought that she just would explore the room, but when she got up she saw that the kittens covered all of the floor and that there would be hard to walk around and explore without waking up everybody. 'I'll just look into the other room'. She opened the door to the room where they had been playing earlier and there seemed like there was no one there now. She entered and closed the door carefully behind her. As she started to walk around the room her eyes was drawing towards the door she entered the den through before. 'Maybe I will find someone outside who wants to play?' She thought and headed towards the junkyard. She had a feeling she was not supposed to get this far away from where she should be but her curiosity took over and she slipped outside into the main clearing of the junkyard. To her disappointment there didn't seem to be anyone out there to play with her either. She was just about to turn back inside to see if any of the kittens was up yet when she saw a cat that looked like no other she had ever seen. He was black with leopard dots on his chest, he had a leather belt and a bandana tied around one of his legs and what really made her stop and stare was a big mane framing his whole head. She put her paw on the sides of her neck and felt that this cat had something that she thought she was alone to have. But his mane was so much bigger and perfectly groomed. He walked across the clearing so much more slowly than the other cats she had met. Like he took up so much more space than a cat normally does, but still very smooth. Izabella needed to know more about this cat. She discreetly started to follow him.

* * *

Tugger wasn't used to being followed by someone who didn't want him to see them. Everybody wanted Tugger to see them and they usually competed for his attention at all times. The fact that a small queen kitten would follow him around without doing so was a thought that never occurred to him. He was going back to his den to take a nap. He really enjoyed taking a nap some time during the night. Most of the older cats thought he was lazy, staying up late, waking up late and napping during the day and night. 'They would need it too if they had to entertain my kind of fan club' he thought to himself with a smirk. The thought of what Coricopat and Tantomile had said earlier crossed his mind and he frowned at the thought of sharing the attention, he loved it and usually only let others have it if he could gain something from it. He knew he was a rather selfish cat but that didn't harm anyone. 'Let them try' he thought and felt a bit excited about the challenge ahead of him. He entered his den and lay down on his bed of blankets. He had regretted saying Old Deuteronomy could take as many as he wanted, even though he didn't need them for warmth he enjoyed having them for comfort. 'Oh well, I guess I can spare one' he thought as he fell asleep on them all.

* * *

Izabella studied the maine coon closely as he walked past the clearing. He had a certain way of walking and she tried to mimic it while staying as hidden as possible. She was so occupied in trying to move like the big tom that she got really surprised when he suddenly stopped in front of a door and entered a den. She couldn't see anybody else and she wasn't sure about the way back to the den where the kittens slept. She was starting to get nervous but for some reason she felt like this tom she had followed was no one to be afraid of and she decided to go inside and see if he wanted to be friends with her. As she carefully entered the den she saw that her standing outside and thinking had given the tom time to fall asleep. Izabella sat down next to his bed disappointed. But even though the cat was sleeping he was still interesting to watch. He lounged all over the bed and tossed and turned in his sleep. But just like when he walked around outside he took up so much more space than any other cat, like he had a field of energy around him. Izabella started to groom her little mane so that it would start to stand out more like the toms did. It was hard and she didn't have as much fur as him to work with. She puffed it up with her paws like she saw him do outside and pretended to hook her paws into an imaginary belt at the waist. She wanted to look closer at the leopard dots on his chest and made her way towards the sleeping tom. She looked closely at the pattern and to her disappointment she couldn't see any spots on her own chest. Before she could stop herself she had put her paw on his chest to feel the pattern.

* * *

Tugger felt a paw drawing over the pattern on his chest and he started to purr. It was a small paw. 'Maybe too small to be touching me in bed?' he thought as his eyes flew open. Surprised he looked into the equally surprised eyes of a small queen kitten.

"Who are you!?" he asked with a slight panic in his voice.

"I am Izabella, sorry I woke you up" she said looking more curious than sorry.

"Ookey" Tugger said slowly, trying to put things together. "Why are you in my den?" he decided to start inquiring about.

"No one was awake and then I saw you so I followed you and then you went in here and I wanted to see if you would be my friend but you were sleeping and I just wanted to look closer at your fur pattern" Izabella said a bit unsure if she had gotten everything right.

"I usually make most of my friends while I am awake" said Tugger confused at the rant. "Wait, are you the new kitten my dad brought over?" he asked her.

"I don't know who your dad is, I came here with Old Deuteronomy" she said trying to be as precise as she could, she didn't want this cat to turn her away, she wanted to continue talking to him.

"Yeah that's my dad. Ehm.. You followed me here you said, where did you sneak away from?" Tugger said with a smile. He liked this kitten.

"From Jennys" she said looking a bit embarrassed from being found out sneaking away. "but I am not sure about the way back there"

"Haha Jenny will have my hide if she finds out you went here" Tugger said laughing. As much as he feared the rage of the old queen he couldn't seem to help himself in triggering it on a regular basis. Izabella still looked a bit embarrassed. "It's ok, It's your job as a kitten to keep her worried, it's what she is best at" he said with a wink.

"Everyone here is so worried all the time but I haven't met anyone that is scary that you have to be worried about" Izabella said, sounding like she had been at the junkyard for weeks already.

"Then you decided to follow the right cat" Tugger said smiling. "So what do you want to do while Jenny gets her rage all worked up?" he asked scratching the kitten's ear.

"I tried to groom my mane to look like yours but I don't have enough fur I think, can you help me?" Izabella said looking at him with excited eyes. Tugger looked at the kitten and saw that there was indeed a lot more fur growing around her neck than the other kittens, but it was far from a mane for now.

"I think you'll have to wait it out kitten" he said scratching the thick fur in her neck a bit.

"Ok" she said a bit disappointed before refocusing. "Can I have a belt like you have and a bandana?"

"Nah, these are trade marked for The Rum Tum Tugger, you'll have to find your own outfit" he said with a grin. "I'll help you" he said when she looked away sad. That earned him a look of pure joy. 'This kitten is hard to say no to' he thought.

"Are you The Rum Tum Tugger?" asked Izabella.

"Yes, sorry, I usually start with that but you caught me a bit off guard so to speak. And you are Izabella, do you go by that or Bella?" he asked.

"Old Deuteronomy says I can let others choose which one they like better, which do you like?" Izabella asked.

"I like Bella" he said with a smile. They heard a loud scream from outside. "And that would be Jenny with a proper rage built up, come on, let's get you back to the others" Tugger said with a sigh as he got up from his bed. He would have to postpone his beauty sleep.

Tugger and Bella entered the clearing who was filled with all the cats of the Jellicle tribe. They all had a look of panic in their eyes and screamed Izabellas name.

"Calm down, she is here" said Tugger preparing to get torn to pieces. He barely got away in time when Jenny started swinging with a rolled up magazine she was holding.

"Can't you leave even the youngest kittens alone you horrible, horrible cat!?" Jennyanydots shouted as she took a new aim with the roll.

"I can't help it if they follow me and enter my den when I'm sleeping can I?" he said in defence. "You know even I wouldn't go after the kittens" he said with a grin only to get scolded again.

"Izabella was supposed to be sleeping in my den, why wouldn't you take her back immediately?" she demanded.

"I'm sorry Jenny, I just got curious" Izabella said apologetically looking down at the ground.

"Oh Izabella, you got us all so worried" The old queen said and picked her up. "Never do that again" Jenny said pointing a finger at her. Before Izabella could promise anything Tugger broke in.

"You know how it goes when you try to control a curious cat Jenny" he said with a wink and the rest of the cats started laughing. Jenny was still not amused though.

"I won't let your bad influence rub off on this one" she said squinting her eyes as she sat Izabella down.

"Well, there's no doing anything about it" Tugger said with a big grin, winked at Bella and walked back towards his den followed by his fan club of older kittens.

* * *

Old Deuteronomy tried to be concerned about Izabellas behaviour when Jenny told him what happened but on the inside he just shook his head and laughed. He knew that even though she acted very different from the other kittens this was nothing to be worried about. She would do just fine but she would probably cause Jenny as much headache as Tugger had a few years earlier when he was her age. It was not something he would have hoped for but he had seen many kittens do worse in life than his youngest son and thinking about the start Izabella had had in life it was only a good thing that she seemed to be able to attach herself to other cats. He wondered if she had any memories at all from those first weeks in her life, but he thought that since she didn't seem to have any problem with trusting people she couldn't remember what her mother did to her. Izabella had never told him about the fear she felt that first night before they met. Old Deuteronomy knew that the best thing for Izabella was to stay at the junkyard with the other kittens and do her best to disobey Jennys demands. With a heavy heart he knew that like with his sons he would have to be more a leader of the tribe than a parent to them all. It was not for Izabella it would be hard, it was for himself. As it closed in on sleeping time for the kittens he picked Izabella up.

"So how was your first day here at the junkyard?" he asked trying to sound as carefree as he could.

"The best day of my life!" said Izabella and if she hadn't used those words he had still understood her by the look of her eyes glittering with happiness.

"I'm so happy to hear that, I am very proud of you Izabella, everyone thinks you fit in perfect among us Jellicles, we will all take care of you now and you will help taking care of us" he said making sure she knew that she was one of them now. "Would you like to stay here for the night?" he asked carefully. "I will be close by in my den but you can come there as well if you rather want to?"

"I like staying with you but maybe I can try to stay with the others tonight if that's ok with you?" she asked politely and Old Deuteronomy smiled at her being so thoughtful of his feelings. He knew her well enough to know that she asked for his sake and not for hers. He was her protector but she still wanted to take care of him in a way.

"You can stay with the others, I will be ok" he said. "I will come and check on you tomorrow and if you change your mind you just let Jenny know and I will come over" he said realising that he really had a hard time letting her go. This was just like with Tugger, these kittens thrive on their own but they are so easy to love and you want them close even though you know you have to let them go.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you I love you" she said nuzzling him.

"I love you too Iz, forever. But now go and settle in with the others, I will go back to my place" he said, steadying his voice as much as he could. He had been really close to tears. 'Damn these kittens to steal your heart' he thought to himself and smiled


	4. Chapter 4

Izabella had been put in the back of the room furthest from the door. She suspected that it was because of her earlier break out. Jenny and Jelly had been keeping her under extra watch the rest of the day and Bella started to feel like she needed to get away from their supervision for a while. The room was dark and she could hear that the other kittens was already starting to to fall asleep. She wasn't tired at all but she didn't want anybody to know so she lay there with her eyes closed and just listened to the sound of the other kittens. Suddenly her eyes jerked open and she realised that she must had been sleeping for a while. All the other kittens was sleeping heavily and she could see from the door that the sun was up outside. Bella carefully made her way up and moved towards the door. When she came to it she hoped that Jenny and Skimble would not be in the room next door. She gently pushed the door to make a small crack to peek through and as she did she could hear voices. Immediately she moved back into the room. 'There must be some other way out' she thought and started looking around. She could see some light falling in from behind a crate and moved over slowly. She managed to move the crate a little bit and saw that it was used to close a hole in the wall. Light fell into the room and she could see a few of the kittens starting to move around. Without thinking more about it she pressed through the hole and pulled the crate from outside to close the gap behind her.

She knew very well where she wanted to go and this time she knew the way. Very carefully she started making her way across the clearing. She had to make sure no one saw her, but it seemed that most cats had gone to sleep already or at least back to their dens. When she was at the door of the den she had seeked out she gave a small knock but when no one answered the door she opened it and went in. Tuggers den was a huge mess but to Bella it was just exciting with all the stuff. Now that the tom wasn't there she started to take a closer look at his den and her eyes fell on the big pile of blankets he used for a bed. There were cushions as well and Bella jumped up on the pile to see what it was like lying on top of all this. At the kittens sleeping room they all had a blanket each they could curl up on or inside, but this was like all their blankets for just one cat. She rolled over on her back feeling the comfortable cushions pressing back at her. She jumped a bit up and down and made some acrobatic moves while in the air and then landed on her side a bit too close to the edge and rolled of. She had not hurt herself but was a bit disoriented. She shook her head and then stopped when she saw something shiny sticking out from under the lowest of the blankets in the pile. Bella couldn't help herself and reached in to grab it. She had never seen an object like this and wondered what it was. It consisted of two metal rings that were attached to each other by a small chain. It seemed that the rings had some kind of hinges that could make the ring smaller or wider and there was a small key hole at the side of them. She was confused, 'maybe it was some sort of decoration?' she thought. 'or could it be some sort of bracelet?'. She had seen that some of the cats wore collars and maybe this was like that but you put it around your paw instead. 'But why are there two circles?' She tried to put her paw through one of the circles and pulled at the hinge of the circle making it tighter to fit around her front leg. When she had pulled it tight she felt like it was a bit too far and tried to open it up again but it wouldn't work. She began to panic a bit and tried to pull her paw out but it didn't work either. 'What do I do now?' she thought to herself. The other circle dangled from her paw and she was happy that she had only put it on one of her front legs, she had thought for a second that the other must be for the other leg but thought it stupid since that would make walking, or anything, really hard. 'Maybe it's some sort of trap for curious kittens?' she thought to herself embarrassed that she had gotten stuck. Bella climbed back on top of the bed and lay down on it thinking about how she would get out of this mess and before she knew it she was sleeping.

* * *

Tugger had been out with Bombalurina that night and when the queen asked if they should go back to her den he thought it was a good time to surprise her with something he had found when he had been out hunting a few days earlier.

"Let's just stop by my den first, I want to pick something up" he said with a grin and leaned in towards the queens ear. "I think you will like it" he whispered with his sexiest voice.

"Pervert" said Bomba with a smile as if she had read his mind.

When they came to his den they stopped outside and he pinned her to the wall and kissed her, letting the kisses wander down her neck until the queen let out a moan and then he pulled back. He always wanted to leave her wanting more.

"Stay here" he said with a wink and went to the door.

"Hurry" the queen said pouting her lips and blowing him a kiss.

The door wasn't properly closed but he figured he had just forgotten to close it earlier. When he came inside he saw that it was far worse than that. He immediately saw Bella lying on his bed and had recognized his little souvenir tightly locked around her paw. 'This is not good' he thought and went straight out again.

"That was fast" said Bomba surprised.

"Eh yeah, ehm, we will have to do this another time" he blurted out and closed the door firmly behind him. Bomba could not go inside and see this.

"Oh my god, this was your plan all along wasn't it?" said Bomba with an expression on her face that said she should have expected it. "You just want to tease and never please, just forget it, whatever, another night then, chicken." she added and left him with a laugh.

"I'll make you scream my name tomorrow instead" he shouted after her and Bomba just waved back without looking. He felt stupid for backing out but he knew Bomba didn't take any offense, they always teased each other. 'I'll have another chance' he thought to himself with a smirk.

* * *

Then Tugger remembered why he had sent away the queen and sighed. He was going to have his mane pulled out by Jenny for this. He just hoped that Bella had no idea what she had found and with a little luck he could convince her to keep it their secret. He went inside and sat down by the sleeping kitten and gently pushed her shoulder.

"Got yourself in a bit of a mess there have you?" he said as she woke up.

"Oh hi Tugger" Bella said and looked down blushing.

"Let me give you a hand" he said with another sigh and went over to a jar that stood on a shelf up high and picked out the keys for the lock. He opened the lock and took the 'bracelet' and put it with the keys in the jar again. "Are you hurt?" he asked.

"No I don't think so" said Bella massaging the area that had been gripped tightly.

"You shouldn't play with things that you don't know what they are" he said trying to figure out if she knew what it was, but forgetting that this just triggered the kittens interest.

"What is it? Some kind of bracelet? But why would you want a bracelet that you need a key for?" she asked all the questions that came to mind.

"It's ehm.." Tugger started and scratched his jaw thinking. "It's a bracelet you can use when you take a friend to the city so you don't lose each other" he tried.

"That's smart!" said Bella buying his lie. "Can we use it together some time?" she asked and Tugger felt a shiver down his spine at the inappropriate suggestion.

"Haha no you are too young to go our into the city" he tried to laugh feeling more uncomfortable than he ever had.

"But soon I will be older and then you could take me"

"Take you?" he said with panic.

"To see the city" Bella said and wondered why the tom had gotten so nervous, he even had started sweating.

"Oh of course right, that will be fine" he said trying to pull himself together.

"I can't wait!" said Bella happily and Tugger realised he just promised to take her out of the junkyard, something he could definitely not do with a small kitten.

He made her see that they would have to wait quite some time before it was possible and hoped that she would forget in time. He also made her promise to keep it as a secret between the two of them. No one could know about this and she couldn't tell anyone about the bracelet, if she did he would not go with her, he said trying to sound authoritative, something he had never been good at. He took Bella back to Jennys den and she showed him the hole in the wall she had snuck out through. 'This kitten is amazing' he thought. 'She always gets what she wants'.


	5. Chapter 5

Izabella continued to sneak out during the kittens sleep hours but not every time. She knew she had to be careful if she wanted to keep her secret door out. Most of the time she hung out with Tugger in his den or closeby as he made sure no one saw them. When Tugger wasn't there she usually took a nap on his bed until he showed up or she explored the nearby areas, practicing to stay hidden from other cats. Old Deuteronomy had moved back out of the junkyard a few weeks earlier as he saw that the kitten had settled in nice. He visited every day still but even though Izabella got really happy to see him he soon lost her attention as she got distracted. He had felt a lot better about leaving her when he had seen that she was comfortable with all the cats in the junkyard and even though he wanted to be an important part of her life he knew he could only be that if he let her go.

* * *

The Rum Tum Tugger had been having a hard time getting all the sleep he wanted in and he had every intention to say no to Bella when she turned up and kept him up. But it was impossible to do it once he saw her. He had cancelled quite a lot of dates lately to keep their secret meetings but he had managed to make all the queens think that he had been with another of them instead, he had to guard his reputation. And he actually really liked spending time with the kitten. She was getting older and it was more fun now since they could talk more equally and she managed to keep up when they went hunting.

It was a normal day turning evening at the junkyard and Tugger had managed to catch a break from his fanclub for a moment as Jennyanydots had the kittens assembled to learn crocheting. It looked like they mostly made a mess but if anyone was determined to learn them it was Jenny. Tugger made his way over to Bombalurina who was the latest queen he had turned down just last night and decided to try and sweet talk her into giving him another chance. He felt fairly confident in himself, they had been teasing each other ever since they were kittens and now that they had been toms and queens for two years the teasing had taken a turn towards the more sexual. They were still young and even Tugger hadn't done much more than kissing and a bit of touching but that didn't mean they couldn't imply it. They both knew how to push the other cats buttons and Tugger always made sure Bomba heard about him going after the other queens. Bomba let news travel through other sources so that Tugger never heard from her who was her latest date. As Tugger walked in the queens direction he made sure she saw him blowing a kiss to Cassandra.

"Hello Bomba" he said with his most seductive voice. "What is a beautiful queen like you doing on her own, I heard a rumour you had a date with Pouncival? Or are you holding out for The Rum Tum Tugger?" he said as he lounged on the ground next to her, letting his tail stroke along her leg.

"Holding out for someone to stand me up you mean?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"You can't put a leash on me Bomba" he said pouting his lips. "But I feel like taking you out tonight to make up for it anyway, what do you say?" he asked raising his eyebrow back at her.

"I don't know Tugger, it's all this teasing..." she said leaning in and putting her lips by his ear. "and i feel like getting pleased" she whispered barely audible and making sure he could feel her breath against his fur. Tugger let out a purr and then smirked.

"I know just the place" he said and rose to his feet holding out his paw for her to grab. Bombalurina pretended to think about it before she took his paw.

They started walking out of the clearing following a path through the junk that most cats thought ended a few meters in, but Tugger knew of a secret passage and when they came to the end he looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else saw and then he moved an old painting and revealed a small way through. He squeezed through and made a sign for Bomba to follow him. She rolled her eyes but was intrigued and followed. On the other side another clearing opened up towards the end of the junkyard and there stood a tree. Tugger had let go of Bombas paw and started to make his way to the tree. When he came to it he started to climb up and sat down on the lowest branch looking down at the queen. She looked back and hesitantly followed. Tugger climbed up another branch so that he was hidden among the leaves if someone stood on the ground looking at the tree. Bomba laughed and followed him up. When she stood up on the same branch as Tugger he pinned her against the stem and kissed her. When the queen gasped he carefully let his tongue over the edge of her lips and was welcomed with Bombas tongue meeting his. He took her paws in one of his and held them over her head letting the other paw travel slowly down her back. He pulled back from the kiss and put his lips to her ear instead. "Let's do some pleasing tonight then" he whispered and started to kiss her down the neck. Bomba started feeling like this was going a bit too fast and a little too much by the toms control. She squirmed out of his grip and put her paw under his chin making the tom look into her eyes.

"You wouldn't be able to handle it" she said pouting her lips and taking back the control. They both knew this was just an act and tried to trigger the other cat to become speechless. When Tugger started to open and close his mouth trying to find a comeback Bomba started laughing. She knew she had won this round. Tugger banned himself for being a slow thinker and wished he had brought his special 'bracelet' instead of just holding her paws, 'that would've made her drop the ball instantly' he thought to himself.

"Fine you win" said Tugger laughing and they sat down on the branch. He always thought he had her wrapped around his finger but then she managed to throw him off just when he was the cockiest. He knew she did it on purpose, letting him have the control, thinking he had the upper hand and then sink him with one blow.

"Yes, like always" Bomba said with a grin and punched him lightly. "So how's the fan club holding up when you sneak away with me like this all the time?" she said teasing.

"All the time? That's not what it sounded like earlier, and what was that I heard about Pounce?" he teased back.

"Pounce is something to pass the time, no one kisses like you" Bomba said blowing a kiss in Tuggers way. "But I see you're having a hard time charming that new kitten, what's up with that?" Tugger looked confused. "Izabella? She seems more like she is starting to have her own fan club rather than joining yours" Bomba kept teasing.

"Haha I can spare one kitten from the fan club" he said trying to laugh. He hadn't thought about it but during the nights Bella rarely hung out around him like the other kittens. Actually she _had_ been playing with some of his fans at the other part of the clearing. 'Did she do anything else than playing?' he thought to himself.

"Yeah but what about the others?" Bomba said looking at a more confused Tugger. 'Had he missed this?' she thought unsure if she was going to continue the teasing for now.

"Eh, They just like what's new, she and the others will come around" Tugger said trying to sound cocky. But he was feeling uneasy at the thought, he may seem nonchalant but he needed his fan club.

"You know she get's more beautiful everyday, I think she will have curls in that mane of hers" Bomba decided to tease a bit more when she heard that cocky tone. She saw Tugger freeze a bit at that remark. He had thought that he was the only one who had seen Bellas mane filling in more and wasn't sure about how he felt sharing that characteristic feature of his. "All the tom kittens have already started following her more frequently than you and you're losing some of the queens kittens as well" Bomba said taking it one step further.

Tugger raised up on the branch trying to collect himself. "I just remembered I promised Cassandra a good time tonight, don't wait up for me" he said acting poorly like his alter ego and climbed down the tree. He tried his best to walk casually back towards his den but he felt like running.

'What's up with him?' Thought Bombalurina as she sat alone on the branch. They were friends and teased each other all the time, she hadn't taken it further than usually. 'I'll have to bring up Bella again' she thought with a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

Tugger walked frustrated towards his den. He was angry at himself for letting Bomba have so much ground and thought about several good comebacks that he should have said instead. 'She is just trying to throw me off' he thought to himself but another thought reminded him that Bella in fact was not in his fan club even though she seemed to adore him when they hung out during the nights. 'Was it possible that she was drawing attention from him?' he thought but discarded the idea, he was The Rum Tum Tugger, no one could keep up with him. He entered his den but froze as he saw the young queen kitten lie on his bed sleeping. 'She really is getting more beautiful' he thought looking down at her. 'No! She is only a kitten!' he argued with himself. 'But not that much longer' the other part of his brain reminded him. He looked at Bellas mane and saw that it had started to have some waves that would grow into beautiful curls in time and he smiled at the thought of what she would look like soon when she was becoming a queen. 'What is this?' he thought with a bit of panic. It was still many weeks until Izabella would be considered a queen. 'But only weeks, not months' said that annoying other voice in his head. Tugger felt confused at the thoughts, he wasn't used to getting mixed up, he was usually pretty straight forward in his thinking. 'It's just Bomba who's getting in my head' he reasoned. As he looked back down at the kitten he saw that she was starting to wake up. As always she was fully awake in seconds.

"Hi Tugger" she said and pounced on him giving him a hug. "What do you want to do tonight?" she asked looking up at him with big eyes, Tugger saw that they were brown with a shade of green in them. 'She has really pretty eyes' he thought but shook it away immediately.

"Uh I don't know, what do you want to do?" he said without thinking.

"Will you take me out in the city? Remember you promised we'd go when I was older?" Bella said reminding Tugger that this kitten wouldn't forget a thing and that she always got what she wanted. He bit his tongue thinking a second before he answered.

"Alright" he sighed and Bella jumped in circles around him. "Since you were just up with Jenny trying to crochet I guess you didn't stay long after they had put you in the sleeping room so I guess we have the time for it. But! You have to stay close to me the whole time, and we will not go that far tonight, understood?" he said feeling like his older brother.

"Of course! Maybe we can use the bracelet?" Izabella said and Tugger panicked as he had forgotten that part.

"I eh.. I lost it" he said.

"Wasn't that the reason you could lock it? So you wouldn't lose it?" Bella asked suspiciously.

"Yes, well I didn't lose it really… I eh.. lend it to someone and they didn't give it back" he managed to get out and Bella seemed happy with the answer.

"Okey, but can we go now? I promise I will stay close, I could hold your paw instead" she decided.

"Fine" Tugger sighed again. 'I couldn't say no even if I tried' he thought feeling defeated.

* * *

Tugger decided that it was best to take it slowly so to begin with he thought that going just around the block into an alley would be a good start. There was a big dumpster there where the humans brought stuff that was later put at the junkyard and sometimes you could find food or something shiny, like a certain bracelet, or hopefully something more appropriate to show a kitten. Tugger knew where his brother usually put cats to look out for intruders so it wasn't a challenge for him to get out and back into the junkyard whenever he wanted and Bella had turned out to be quite stealthy when she set her mind to it. They sneaked past everyone and when they were on the outside of the junkyard Tugger promptly took Bellas paw in his and reminded her that she had to stay close to him no matter what. He was trying to look stern but was himself excited to be out and exploring.

"Okey, first we scout the area" said Tugger knowingly. "We don't want to run into a pollicle.. or worse" he continued, trying to sound authoritative but judging by Bellas face he only made it sound mysterious and intriguing.

"Okey Tugger, let's scout" she said lowering her body close to the ground and looking around her. Tugger had to laugh.

"Yeah, we are doing this the easy way" he said with a wink and picked up an empty tuna can. "Stay behind this fence, and if I say run, you run your fastest back to the junkyard, ok?" he said and waited for Bella to nod. He was being more serious about the situation than was needed to, he already knew the alley was deserted, but felt like setting the mood for adventure. He slowly lifted the can above his head, glanced over at Bella who looked back overly excited and ready to run on command, and then tossed it into the centre of the alley. There was a loud noise as it hit the ground and kept bouncing a few times. After that it turned silent. "The coast is clear" Tugger said with a smile and made a sign for Bella to follow him towards the dumpster. He could see that he had fired her up but to his surprise there was no fear at all in her eyes. 'She isn't afraid of anything' he thought and realised that most kittens would already be running back towards the junkyard. They would probably not dare to sneak out in the first place.

"What's in there?" said Bella excited as they came closer.

"Today? I don't know, it's new stuff here everyday, we have to take a closer look" he said and helped her up so they could enter the dumpster. Bellas eyes were as wide as saucers. When they landed inside it Tugger could see immediately that today was a good day do dumpster dive and congratulated himself to the successful initiative.

"Wow" was all Bella could say as she looked around her.

"Now, let's start by finding something to eat" said Tugger. "It smells like some human has dumped some fish here not too long ago" he continued excited and started to sniff around to locate it. Bella did the same but Tugger could see that she wasn't used to look for food like this, the kittens usually just got trained to catch mice around the junkyard. "Like this" he said and showed her how he singled out the smell and started to follow it without getting distracted by all the other smells in the dumpster. Bella picked up fast and when Tugger had located the piece of deep fried fish wrapped in newspaper they were looking for he let Bella find it.

"This is the fish! It is, right?" she asked Tugger who started laughing at the overly excited kitten. "Is it? Don't laugh! Is it?" she demanded.

"You are right" Tugger said between laughs.

"Why are you laughing? I found it, I did good right?" Bella said both excited and confused.

"Yeah but you look so cute when you get that excited" Tugger said without thinking and froze a bit when he realised. But Bella just smiled and nuzzled him quickly.

"Can we eat it?" she wondered, directing her focus back to the fish.

"Sure, but let's just put it over there at the end and we can bring it with us, I don't like eating inside the dumpster" he said and picked up the newspaper, wrapping it tighter around the fish and putting it in the end where they entered. "Now, let's see what else we find" he said with a cheeky smile and could see Bella looking around frantically to spot the next treasure. They looked through the junk for a while, mostly finding broken things but also some human baby clothes that they tried on laughing at each other. Bella found a small velvet pillow and Tugger said she could bring it back to the junkyard and keep it in his place for now. When they were almost down to the bottom of the dumpster Tugger saw two pearls on a string sticking out from under a plastic bag and carefully pulled them out. It was a whole necklace that was broken at the end. He picked it up without letting the pearls roll off and looked closer for the clip and found it under the plastic. "Bella?" he said. "Close your eyes" he said hiding the pearl necklace behind his back.

"Why?" said Bella looking with him with eyes the opposite of closed.

"It's a surprise" he said and saw that Bella closed her eyes immediately. He guessed the other surprises this night had been acceptable and got really happy that the kitten trusted him. He went over to her and measured the size of the necklace. He had to pull of a few pearls to make it fit around her neck and made a quick knot close to the clip before fastening it around her neck. "Now you can look" he said.

"What is it?" said Bella excited and grabbed the pearls around her neck. Tugger forgot that she couldn't see herself what it looked like on. He looked around the dumpster and found a cracked side mirror from a car that he turned up against the side of the dumpster.

"Here come look" Tugger said with almost as much excitement as Bella raced over to the mirror. Her eyes turned even bigger at the sight of the pearls around her neck. "Do you like it?" Tugger asked smiling and almost lost his breath when she jumped into his chest to hug him.

"I love it! Can I keep it?" Bella asked when she remembered that she already decided to keep the pillow and got worried it would be too much.

"Of course!" said Tugger. "See I told you I would help you find your own outfit" he said with a grin.

"I love it." Bella almost whispered and turned to the mirror again to look closer.

"It looks beautiful on you" said Tugger proudly. 'Just like you are' he thought but tried to shake the feeling. "Let's get out of this dumpster and go somewhere nice to eat the fish" he said instead.

"Okey" said Bella but Tugger could see she had a hard time leaving the mirror and as they climbed out of the dumpster he could see that she kept putting her paws up to the necklace to make sure it was still there.

* * *

Tugger knew about a park nearby and thought it would be perfect to eat the fish there while looking at the sunrise. They had to get back to the junkyard quite soon but there was still some time left. Bella took his paw as they walked towards the park and the other was running over the pearls. She didn't say a word and Tugger felt really happy she liked the gift. When they came to the park the sun had just started rising and Tugger went over to his favourite spot under a bench where the grass was a bit higher and worked like a cushion to lay on. It reminded him that they had forgotten about the pillow Bella wanted to bring from the dumpster, but it didn't seem to matter now. The sat down under the bench and ate and watched the sunrise in silence. Tugger could see that Bella was starting to get tired and he was also trying to hold back a yawn but didn't want the adventure to end just yet.

They went back towards the junkyard and Tugger could see that something was troubling Bella. "Is something wrong?" he asked her.

"I was just thinking… the others will see my necklace and wonder where I got it, I can't tell them so how can I keep it?" she said looking really sad and Tugger saw her eyes fill up at the thought of losing the pearls.

"Hm.." he said thinking. "Okey, I will take the pearls for now and I'll make sure to put them somewhere tomorrow so that you will find them and then you can just pretend like you found them yourself, is that ok?" he asked and when he received Bellas smile he felt like the most clever cat in London.

"I can really keep it?" she asked to be certain.

"You kind of have to when you look that beautiful wearing them" he said before thinking again but like always Bella just smiled and thought no more of it. He unfastened the necklace and followed her back to the secret entrance to the kittens den.

"Thank you for tonight" said Bella and hugged him and nuzzled against his ear. Tugger felt warm inside. "Maybe we can do this again?" she asked.

"Of course" said Tugger smiling sheepishly before composing himself. "But maybe not for a while though, it is hard to keep it secret if we go too often." he said.

"Okey, you are probably right" Bella said and let out a big yawn.

"Now let's sleep for a while and remember to look out for the necklace tomorrow" Tugger said, scratching Bella on the head before helping her through the hole in the wall and making sure the crate closed it up.

He went towards his den with a smile on his face thinking that if this had been a date it would have been his best one yet.


	7. Chapter 7

**New chapter, please review or follow or send me a pm or something, it's lovely to hear what you think :)**

 **Cats are not mine :(**

* * *

Ever since Izabella had started to wear her new necklace Tugger had realised that the tom kittens were probably lost from his fan club for good. It brought out all her other beautiful features and now it was obvious to everybody that Izabella was another maned cat in the tribe. Her mane wasn't nearly as big as Tuggers but it framed her face and the small curls gave it a natural flow that Tugger had to groom his mane carefully to have. He felt more and more that this wasn't just temporary and upped his game to keep the remainder of his fan club. What was irritating him most was that Bella no longer played with her friends like small kittens. They were all older now and they had started practicing dancing and singing and it was always Bella that was the centre of attention in that group. Unlike most of the kittens she didn't try to dance like the older cats, she made her own dance moves and her voice sounded like nobody elses.

But there was something else too that nagged at Tuggers mind and it was the fact that Bella had not sneaked out to see him since they were out on the town last time. He had felt like it was the perfect evening and that Bella had thought so too but the more time that passed since the more he started to question if it had actually been as good as he remembered. He had been trying to focus on the queens instead but always tried to end the evenings a bit early to go see if there was someone waiting on him in his den. Tugger was not used to dance around someone elses pipe and every night he thought that this night he was just going to ignore it and stay out, but when it started getting late he changed his mind and returned to his den. Only to be disappointed again. He _had_ made some advances with Bombalurina lately. Even though they weren't mating they had done almost everything up to it now but neither of them took it that seriously. It was just for fun and he felt like he might as well explore these things with a friend to get a hang of it and she seemed to feel the same. 'Maybe I will put my practise to use with some of the other queens tonight?' he thought deciding once again that he wouldn't go back early to look for Bella this night.

* * *

Izabella had been exploring what it meant to be the centre of attention lately and she felt like she was in heaviside everyday. It had been so much fun to go from playing around to start doing more grown up things with her friends. She had let her body express itself and just followed the flow when they started dancing but she had not been oblivious to the fact that her dancing looked like no other of the kittens. She felt like she was growing when everybody watched her dance and she suspected that it was not only because it was different that most of the tom kittens tried to dance with her. She usually let them keep up with her for a short while before going of in an unexpected direction making them lose the rhythm. That feeling when they backed off to the side to watch a little embarrassed was almost better than the feeling of the dance moves themselves. But when it came to singing it was mostly the queens that complimented her. She had a strong voice and she could sing songs that the others had a hard time with, but it was harder than the dance. She had to concentrate to get it right and it didn't come as natural as the dance did. And even though her voice was powerful she couldn't keep up when the other kittens sang in a faster tempo, it seemed that her voice was mostly made for ballads where she could take her time finding the right tone and holding it.

Izabella felt a bit bad about not sneaking out to see Tugger but all the attention was so addictive and at the end of the day she felt exhausted from it. Most days she couldn't even remember seeing the maned tom but she certainly heard his fan club. But when every time she started to sing all the giggles and laughter disappeared and even Tuggers fan club seemed to want to listen to her. She thought that maybe tonight she would go see him, she could just relax a bit from all the attention and maybe she would not be as tired when it was time to go to bed. She had danced around with Tumblebrutus when she decided that she was taking a break and stopped the dance in the middle of a move making the tom kitten lose himself and feel silly. Bella looked over towards Tuggers fan club to see what they were up to and locked eyes with Tugger. It seemed that they all had been watching her and she got a bit confused for a moment before composing herself and took a bow towards them and gave Tugger a wink. Everybody laughed and she felt that rush again of all the eyes being on her but let it go and settled down among the other kittens. She soon realised that even though she wasn't the one dancing and singing all the other kittens around still tried to impress her and wanted her attention anyway. It was fun to be the one they all circled around but for now she needed some time alone to just relax and think. She made up an excuse and turned away from the disappointed faces to go find a quiet place.

* * *

As she walked away she could feel that they all watched her but tried to make it look like they didn't. She turned a corner and hoped she could find a place to rest and be a bit alone for once. Bella lay down behind an old washing machine so that if anyone came her direction they wouldn't immediately spot her, and she tried to make herself comfortable. Just when she had found a position that would be good enough for a nap she heard someone coming her way. She let out a sigh and prepared to stay stealthy hoping the follower would just go away. But when she peeked to see who it was she got surprised.

"Tugger?" Bella said looking out from her hiding place.

"Hello Bella, what are you up to?" he asked casually, but she guessed he had found her for a reason.

"Actually, I was trying to take a nap to get away from the others for a while" she said a bit embarrassed, not used to the feeling of attention being too much.

"Getting tired of the tom kittens?" Tugger said with a grin but secretly hoping she was fine with just snatching the toms away from him, he had seen the queens turning their heads towards her a little more often as well.

"A little bit actually" she said confused. "I get really tired even though it is fun and, well I was hoping I would be a little less tired tonight so I could go see you" Bella said.

"I got plans tonight kitten" Tugger said with his usual cocky tone. "But let's hang out now?" he said when he saw her face turn a bit disappointed. "I know the perfect place for a nap, want to come?" he said hoping it didn't sound too much like he'd cancel all his plans in an instant if she asked him to.

"Sure!" said Bella not feeling that tired anymore when she hung out with Tugger but like always she wanted this tom to keep spend time with her. It was something special when it was just the two of them.

Tugger made a sign for her to follow and to do it discreetly. Bella wondered what he had said to his fan club to sneak away and realised that they probably hadn't let him go without a struggle. 'He must have really wanted to meet me now' she thought. Tugger took Bella to the same clearing he had shown Bomba earlier and knew that they probably would be alone there in the tree. He climbed all the way up to the third branch this time to make sure no one saw them.

"What do you think, pretty sweet right?" asked Tugger as they were both up.

"This is perfect" said Bella. "Do you go here to nap too?" she asked.

"Yeah, sometimes you just need to be away from all clingy queen kittens" he said without thinking and bit his tongue. "I mean, you are cool though"

"Thanks, you too Tugger" Bella said, as usual not taking offense. She tried to lay down comfortably but it was a bit hard since Tugger had taken the place closest to the stem of the tree leaning his back against it.

"You can put your head in my lap if you want to?" Tugger said trying to sound casual and reminded himself of the fact that she was still a kitten.

"Okey" said Bella lying down. "This feels much better" she said and started to purr when Tugger absentmindedly put his paw on her head and gently rubbed her ear. He startled a bit at the sound but relaxed when he decided that it was only a friendly gesture he could have done with any other cat. 'It felt a bit different though' he thought but pushed it away.

"Still tired?" asked Tugger.

"A bit" said Bella as the feeling came back when she relaxed in his lap. "Do you want to talk a bit first?" she asked thinking of nothing in particular.

"Okey, about what?" asked Tugger.

"Tell me about the Jellicle ball?" asked Bella holding back a yawn.

"What do you want to know?" asked Tugger not really knowing where to start.

"Tell me your favourite part" said Bella smiling and looking up into his face. Tugger had to look away for a moment as he felt that green shade in them made his mouth a bit dry.

"Hrm, well, of course I love my own song best" he said with a smirk. "But also the battle of the pekes and the pollicles, mostly because Munk is on the verge of breaking down during that part" he continued and laughed. Bella smiled and kept looking at him to keep going. "Hm and what else? Everything is fantastic, you will love it next time, the mating dance is of course a favourite, and then usually Mistoffelees does some magic, I really like that. But you will love it all" he assured her.

"Everybody always talks about the part when Old Deuteronomy chooses who goes to the heaviside layer, but it sounds like everything else is much more fun" said Bella.

"Oh you're right, but it is the most important part of the Jellicle ball and even though it is not always the most fun part it is a really good part" said Tugger looking off into the distance. Bella felt like something was sensitive about this for Tugger.

"Was it beautiful last ball?" she asked carefully. Tugger sighed and wasn't sure he wanted to tell Bella about last ball.

"Last ball was...different" he said after a while.

"Why was it different?" asked Bella and as always Tugger had a hard time not answering her questions.

"Munkustraps mom showed up and was chosen… she was my mum too" he said, thinking at first he would only tell half the truth but felt like he had to share the rest.

"I'm sorry" said Bella and pushed up to sit in his lap. "Or are you supposed to be happy? This part was really confusing when Old Deuteronomy told me. It sounds like it is something good to go to the heaviside layer, but it feels like it is sad to let someone go like that." she said trying to explain.

"It is both" said Tugger putting an arm around Bella and pulling her into a hug.

"Were you sad when she left?" asked Bella into his chest.

"I don't know really" said Tugger. "She was never really my mom, or Munks either. She left us when we were really young and I have no memory at all of her, I didn't even know who she was until after the ball when I heard Munk telling Demeter it was his mom" said Tugger talking about this for the first time with someone. "Dad had always said Grizabella left Munk as soon as he was done nursing and that she just came back one day and left me there with him to take care of" Tugger said and felt like it was good to talk about it even though it was awful at the same time.

"Why did she come back?" asked Bella and stroke her paw over Tuggers shoulder to comfort him.

"She was in a terrible shape" said Tugger. "She had lived on the streets and it's a tough life for a cat, especially when you are alone, but she came back to ask for forgiveness and to end her life in peace" Tugger said feeling a bit unsure if he had really forgiven her.

"Why did Old Deuteronomy decide to forgive her when he knew what she'd done?" asked Bella feeling like that would be a hard thing to forgive even though some time had passed.

"She sang a beautiful song that night and we all got moved, it really felt like she was sorry for everything" Tugger explained and looked down at Bella who had sat down more comfortably, starting to yawn and he could see her eyelids getting heavy.

"Could you sing it for me?" she asked and close her eyes, resting her head at his chest.

"Okey, but she had a very special voice, it won't be as magical as that night" he said with a smile and started to sing.

... _if you touch me you'll understand what happiness is, look, a new day has begun…_

Bella started to fall asleep as Tugger sang for her and for some reason the song felt very familiar to her. She started to dream about someone holding her close and singing it to her, a queen. The dream felt warm and caring and it felt like it was real. She wasn't sleeping that deep and when Tugger stopped singing Bella started to feel awful. She had only felt that way on time in her life and it was that horrible night when she was left in the basket before Old Deuteronomy had found her.

"Bella! Bella, what's wrong?" Tugger asked as the kitten had started to cry in his arms. Bella woke up and looked up into his eyes. "Did you have a bad dream or did I do something?" he asked not knowing how to handle the crying kitten in his arms.

"I..I think it was a dream" said Bella trying to understand what happened. "But it felt so real"

"It is okey, everything is okey, you are safe here" Tugger said trying to remember things he had heard other cats say. "Was it the song?" Tugger asked knowing his voice didn't fit it too well, but still he hadn't sang so bad it was reason to cry.

"No the song was beautiful, but it was different. It was like I had heard it before but I couldn't remember where" she tried to explain. "And when you stopped it felt like I was abandoned and helpless" she said confused about her reaction. 'The song had been really beautiful, so why did she react so bad when it stopped?' she thought.

"Maybe it was just a bad dream because I talked about my mom abandoning me" said Tugger and smiled down at the kitten. "Everything is fine now though" he said hugging her close.

"Hold me for a while?" asked Bella and squeezed closer, not fully recovered from the awful feelings. Tugger did as she said and they stayed there for while longer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Mostly fluff this time but next one will bring on some revelations. Hopefully you like it, let me know either way! I will probably post one or two new chapters over the weekend.**

 **no no no, no Cats for me to own.**

* * *

Tugger let his eyes rest for a while and they both took a short nap up in the tree. When he woke up he got confused with finding Bella in his arms. It felt really nice, but she was only a kitten still and it felt nice in the wrong way. Tugger carefully rocked her shoulder to wake her up.

"Feel better now?" he asked. He had just remembered the reason Bella wanted to be held close and felt better about falling asleep like this with her.

"Yeah, much better" said Bella already awake and alert. "Has anyone told you your mane is fantastic to sleep on?" she said with a smile. Tugger smirked and stretched out so that Bella had to move from his lap.

"Hehe just every night kitten" he said going back into character. "Want to go back? Ready to be back in the spotlight?" he teased her.

"Haha yeah, let's go!" said Bella sneaking past him and climbing down the tree. Tugger followed quickly and ran up to her.

"Ehm, maybe we shouldn't go back together" he said thinking again about the fact that she was a kitten.

"Why not?" asked Bella who obviously didn't see it the same way.

"I have a reputation to keep, can't have the other queens see I snuck off with you alone" Tugger said with a wink, mostly thinking of the queen Jenny and her rage.

"Haha okey, I guess I have to keep the tom kittens hope up as well" she teased back and Tugger dropped his jaw for a second. 'She _did_ understand what he talked about' he realised and was pleased at the thought.

"You take the way we came here, I have a secret one back" he said walking off in another direction.

'Hm, something had changed between them' Bella thought and liked it. She had really felt close to Tugger and it felt like they had a special connection between them. She smiled at the thought of waking up in Tuggers arms, she had felt really safe after the bad dream and she remembered the way he opened up and talked about his mother. She suspected that he didn't do that to most cats and was glad she had told him about the bad dream as well. When she entered the clearing she heard one of the tom kittens shout her name.

"Bella, come over here?" It was Tumblebrutus who seemed to have recovered from the embarrassment from earlier. Bella walked over to the others. "Where have you been? You missed Jenny" he said.

"Ehm, just taking a nap, was she mad?" Bella asked and looked over towards the queen kittens who just welcomed their idol back. They exchanged a smile before Bella focused back on her group. She felt like maybe Tumble had noticed the look but he didn't mention it.

"No she was not mad, she was here to assign us to our own dens" he said with excitement.

"Oh, we have our own dens already?" said Bella surprised. She had thought they would all stay together at least until the next Jellicle ball.

"It's just for a try" said Plato who had listened to the conversation. "We get one to get used to it before we move out from Jenny and Skimbles place, but you can still sleep at theirs if you want to" he said blushing a little and Bella suspected that he wasn't that fond of the thought to leave their communal sleeping rom.

"Oh, that's nice" said Bella. "I'll go check with Jenny which one is mine" she said and to the tom kittens disappointment she left again.

* * *

On the way over to Jenny Bella felt both excited and a bit worried about this change. 'Maybe they all would just keep sleeping at Jenny and Skimble but what if everyone wanted to be in their own dens instead?' she thought. It wasn't the fact that she would mind having a place of her own, it was just an indistinct feeling of something worrisome. She had snuck away from the others quite a lot so it wasn't being alone that troubled her. 'Or was it in another way?' she thought. She had always been the one sneaking off and leaving others to be alone, but it was only one time she could remember that she actually had been left by someone else. It was a weird feeling to remember something so well but still don't have any real memories of it. But nothing in her life had ever been worse than that night before Old Deuteronomy found her. Bella kind of wished he would be there now to help her understand why this was so troubling. She always loved it when he came to check on her, but she hadn't been that good at showing him that lately. She had been so caught up in everything that happened in her life and it felt like his life was just all the same and could wait while hers just rushed on and she had to make sure to keep up. Bella was tossing thoughts around her head and didn't realise that she had stopped walking and just stood still looking into thin air.

"Bella are you okey?" she heard a voice from behind her. It was Munkustrap and he came up to her and put his paw on her shoulder.

"Oh, ehm, yes, I was just thinking" she said embarrassed.

"Of something in particular?" Munk asked and smiled.

"No not really" said Bella automatically but felt like Munk was actually being sincere in asking. "Well..there was something" she said still not sure exactly what it was.

"You can tell me, or do you rather want to speak to Old Deuteronomy?" he asked carefully knowing that at Bellas age there was a time for talking to a friend and a time for talking to a parent. And his dad was as close as a parent she had.

"Is he here?" said Bella hopefully and Munk decided it was time for the latter.

"He came earlier helping Jenny with assigning dens to the kittens and I am sure he would love to see you, come" said Munkustrap leading Bella towards Jennys den. Bella just smiled, immediately when he asked if she wanted to talk to Old Deuteronomy she felt that he would know exactly what was wrong and help her.

* * *

When Old Deuteronomy saw Munkustrap coming through the door with Izabella he felt his heart warm up. He had been worried that she wouldn't show up to see him this time and had felt like he had lost her already. He had asked Jenny thoroughly about how his little kitten was doing and he understood that it was exactly how he had predicted it to be; this would not be hard for Izabella but for himself only. He was so happy that she had grown up to be such an independent kitten, and now almost a queen, but part of him still wanted her to need him at least a little. Old Deuteronomy always helped Jenny when the kittens first got their own dens, it seemed that they took it more seriously when he was there and even though they weren't expected to be all on their own immediately he wanted them to take on the responsibility properly. To take care of one's own den was a big part of becoming a grown cat. When he saw that all kittens had gathered but Izabella he felt worried and had to hold himself back from running out there looking for her and explaining the importance of this. When their eyes met he did his best to look stern and not only relieved but he could feel it wasn't as with the other kittens.

"She didn't know it was today you would assign dens, she came here as soon as she found out" said Munkustrap who had seen the look on his fathers face and wanted him to know that Bella was not to blame for this.

"Thank you my son for bringing her, go see if Jenny needs some help will you?" Old Deuteronomy asked Munkustrap and turned his eyes towards Izabella. "I'm so glad to see you Iz" he said as Munk left for the next room.

"It is only you who call me Iz, everyone else says Bella now" she said but the old nickname made her feel safe and she was happy he still used it. "I like it though" she added to make sure he knew.

"I like it too" said Old Deuteronomy and smiled. "Now, what were you doing to miss the announcement of the new dens? I think we heard the kittens celebrate through the whole junkyard" he said inquiring.

"Ehm, I was taking a nap somewhere else" she said and looked away.

"Alone?" he asked amused, suspecting this was something the others didn't know about.

"With a friend" she said and felt her face get a bit warmer. 'This was not something embarrassing, right?' she thought to herself.

"Oh I see, and that friend is not one of the other kittens?" Old Deuteronomy asked with a smile. Bella just squirmed awkwardly. "Well are you going to tell me who?" he said holding back an even wider smile at the uncomfortable kitten.

"It was just Tugger showing me a new place to nap okey? I wanted to be alone from the kittens for a while" she said a bit annoyed about the fatherly tone.

"I didn't know you hung out with Tugger? I haven't seen you in his fan club and I thought he only met others when you kittens are supposed to be asleep" Old Deuteronomy said thinking out loud but when he saw Izabellas expression it cleared. "Ah, so you have found an alternative way out then" he chuckled. "Well Jenny thinks she has you perfectly monitored, she assured me you are always put in the back of the room after that first time you snuck away" he started laughing, 'Why was he not surprised?' he thought. "Don't worry, I won't tell her, and from now you can choose yourself"

"Thank you" said Bella smiling carefully. It was like the old tom had read her mind but mostly she was just happy that he didn't get upset, she thought that if anyone had found out she would have been scolded by more than one cat.

"If I may cut to the point Iz?" Old Deuteronomy said and Bella nodded. "There is something else on your mind?"

"I was wondering about my new den" said Bella, finding it hard to form a sentence of her worries.

"I was actually thinking you could have my old one if you like? I don't come here too often to stay the night and I am always welcome to stay at someone elses. It is only collecting dust right now" he said and hoped she would accept.

"You can still stay there when you visit!" said Bella quickly. "I would love the company" she continued a bit more controlled.

"Thank you" said Old Deuteronomy but sensed there was something more here to dig into. "Will you be okey to stay on your own?" he asked and knew the answer as soon as he said the words. This was completely wrong way to ask a stubborn kitten like Iz and he bit his tongue.

"Of course"she said immediately just as he suspected. "No problem at all" she assured him. "It will be fantastic" she concluded with a face that said the opposite. Old Deuteronomy had to hold back a smile as remembered several conversations like this with Tugger. He should have known better.

"That's good to hear" he said knowing that something would show up if he just gave it time. "I think I will stay tonight, do you mind if we share the den this first night? I can show you where everything is and move out some old stuff you don't need." he tried.

"Yes of course you can stay" said Bella and Old Deuteronomy knew he had hit the nail on the head. Hopefully she would open up later on.


	9. Chapter 9

**There will be another one later today or tomorrow, I just felt like cutting them up in two, let me know what you think. I love writing Tugger but he will have to wait another chapter it seems..**

 **don't own cats.**

* * *

They had decided that Bella was going to come back to meet him later. For now she wanted to go out to the other kittens and visit their dens. She felt like it had been nice to be away from the spotlight for a while but now it was time to go back. She was excited and decided to look for the others in the clearing. All queen kittens were gathered around Tugger, trying to get his attention and to convince him to come and see their new dens. He was comfortably lying on top of an old oven, not looking like he would be able to be convinced to go anywhere. He turned his head towards Bella when she came to the clearing but turned his focus back to the kittens around him when he saw it was her. Bella looked over towards the part of the clearing where she usually hung out and saw the tom kittens lying around in small groups looking bored. As soon as one of them saw her they all started to get up and make sure they were groomed okey and position themselves to be as close to her as possible without looking like they were trying. Bella felt herself letting out a small purr when the warmth of all attention covered her.

"Did you miss me?" she said pouting her lips and making a little dance move. When she was sure she had all the tom kittens undivided attention she started laughing and most of them joined her after a little hesitation.

"Didn't even notice you were gone" said Tumblebrutus who usually was the one trying hardest to get her attention. He did put himself in situations to get embarrassed all the time but he was also the one who collected himself fastest afterwards and Bella knew she could always push the limit a bit further with him.

"Then I can keep you waiting a bit longer" she said with a grin. "Come on, let's go see your new dens!" she said to the group with excitement and decided to grab Plato by the arm to start with. He always had a hard time taking up space in the group and she felt like boosting his confidence a bit. "Show us your new place" she said with a smile towards the tom and got a nervous one back.

* * *

Bella and the rest of the tom kittens went around and looked at all the others dens. Some had been more lucky than others and she could see that Jenny and Old Deuteronomy had been giving this some thought. Plato had gotten the den that was closest to Jennys and Skimbles, Tumble was assigned a den close to some of the queen kittens and she could see he was happy about that. Pouncival had surprisingly gotten a den that was just next to Bombalurina and Bella thought that maybe the older cats had missed the rumour of those two flirting. Bella tried to act like she had been unlucky to have Old Deuteronomys old den and joked about the fact that she would have to house him every time he visited. But secretly she was really happy about that. She also didn't mind that it was a bit away from the other kittens and more closely to Munkustraps and Demeters den. Even though she hadn't talked that much to them she always felt good around Munk, all the cats in the tribe did. Demeter had been helping out with the kittens from time to time and Bella appreciated that she was so patient and didn't care for gossip. But Bellas den was also the one furthest away from Tuggers. His den was quite far away from all the others and she suspected that he had made a point of staying as far away as possible from his brother and father. She smiled at the thought and felt a bit guilty about intruding on his privacy so much when she had just came to the tribe.

* * *

Most of the day was gone when the kittens returned back to the clearing and the tom kittens tried to impress Bella and to get a dance with her. But she just felt like being watched today and danced on her own, enjoying all eyes focused on her and letting her body decide what the dance would look like today. It was a fantastic feeling and she closed her eyes, she had no problem understanding why Tugger kept entertaining his fan club. When she got tired she stopped and opened her eyes only to find what she expected; all eyes on her. But she also saw an old pair of eyes looking at her and smiled towards Old Deuteronomy and walked over to him.

"You are a fantastic dancer Iz" he said and smiled.

"Thank you" said Bella proudly. The recognition from the old tom meant more than all the attention from the others. Even though it wasn't as thrilling.

"Shall we go see if we can tidy up a bit in your new den?" he said and held out a paw for her. She grabbed it and nodded.

They had spent a long time cleaning up and going through old stuff in the den. Old Deuteronomy had said she could keep what she wanted and that she shouldn't feel obligated to keep the rest for his sake, he would just bring it when he left. At the mentioning of him leaving he could see something stirring in Bellas eyes and decided it was time to see what it was that kept bothering her.

"Bella come here" he said and made a sign for her to sit down next to him on the pile of blankets. Bella came over a bit hesitantly, she had heard the tone in the voice changing. "When we first started talking about you kittens having your own dens it was something that bothered you" he said trying to be as straight as he could. "I have full confidence in you managing to take care of your own den, otherwise I would never have let you have mine" he continued. "But there is something else that makes you hesitate a bit about it all, am I right?" he finished and hoped that he hadn't pushed her away again.

"There is something" said Bella and Old Deuteronomy knew he had made the right decision to not push her earlier.

"Try to tell me, sometimes things get clearer when you explain them to someone else" he said and put his arm around her. She leaned against him.

"I like being alone" she started. "But I don't like being left alone, or something" she said trying to understand what she had really said, it was all so confusing.

"When a cat has their own den never means that the others leave them, you will always have all of us close, it just means you can decide when you want to go. But of course it means that other cats can want to get away to their own dens sometimes as well" he said giving her some time to think.

"It is okey if they want to" she said. "But.. what if I feel lonely?" she said looking down. It was nice to be so close to Old Deuteronomy, she felt like she was close to tears without knowing why, but it felt like leaning against him was supporting more than her body.

"You can always go visit or invite other cats if you want to" he said. "But are there a reason you are scared of being lonely?" he asked pulling her closer and giving her a kiss on her head. His heart was aching when this kitten wasn't happy, it moved him so much more than he was used to.

"I have.." Bella started. "I am...I was really scared to be alone once and then you saved me, and I am scared I will feel like that again." she said and swallowed tears that kept building up. Old Deuteronomys heart was breaking where he sat and it took all he had to not start crying.

"Can you tell me about it?" he said. "Some things get less scary when you put words on them" he tried.

"I can't" said Bella and felt a tear make it out of her eye. "I don't remember anything, just the feeling" she said as more tears ran down her cheeks. "I was so scared I was going to be left alone forever and that no one was going to take care of me. But then you came and everything has been better since, I don't know why I don't feel like that anymore." she said and got surprised that what she hadn't been able to put words to flowed out of her mouth now.

"It is okey" said Old Deuteronomy holding her tighter. He had thought she had no memories of this night and now that he heard she had, he felt guilty for not talking about it earlier. "Do you remember anything else from that night?" he asked hoping it wouldn't be too much. He felt like it was getting harder to motivate keeping the truth from her.

"I didn't before" said Bella composing herself a bit. "But earlier when I was with Tugger he held me during the nap and-" she stopped, embarrassed at the revelation and looked up at Old Deuteronomy but he just smiled and nodded for her to go on. "He told me about last years Jellicle ball and sang me Grizabellas song before she went to the Heaviside layer and I had a bad dream, but I am not sure it was just a dream, it felt so real." she said a bit confused about what she really meant.

"What happened in the dream?" asked Old Deuteronomy with a serious expression on his face. He did not like where this was going.

"It wasn't that clear, but I remembered being held by someone. And the song sounded different, I think it was a queen who sang it. And when the song stopped it felt like I was being abandoned" she said and confirmed what Old Deuteronomy had suspected but hoped would not come. "It felt exactly like that night you found me" she said. "How did you find me?" she asked but not sure why she asked. Old Deuteronomy swallowed and then sighed deeply. It was time, he knew it. Even though he had hoped this day would not come he felt like he was no longer permitted to keep Izabellas secret to himself anymore. He had to tell her, but how could he?


	10. Chapter 10

**I can see that there are some of you that puts up with me still even though I have been moving slow. Thank you, I would love if you also made a review or sent me a pm but I am so happy just to see people reading it!**

 **I promised more Tugger but he shows up next chapter which I will post in like 2 minutes, yay!**

 **I don't own Cats**

* * *

They had been sitting in the den for a while and for once Izabella hadn't demanded an answer like she usually did. 'Maybe she could sense that it wouldn't be an answer she would like' thought Old Deuteronomy. He collected himself for the task that was coming. He knew it wasn't fair to keep this from her even though he had been convinced that she would be better off not knowing. But now she was almost a queen and maybe he could convince her that you never had to grow up to be like your parents? You could choose yourself and she had not shown any signs of becoming like Grizabella. The only thing he could see that reminded him of her was the small curls that formed in her mane. He braced himself for impact and turned his head to look at Izabella.

"I have something to tell you Iz, something that I am not all too proud to have kept from you" he started and sighed. Bella looked at him frowning her eyebrows. "The one singing you that song was your mother before she left you there to come ask for my help and my forgiveness" he said.

"Why would she need your forgiveness? It wasn't her fault she was dying?" asked Bella.

"She wasn't really dying, but she wasn't strong enough to keep living in this world" he said and felt the anger from before coming back. He didn't want Iz to be angry at her mother, it was his job to explain it so that she could forgive her mother. He could hold onto the grudge but she shouldn't have to. "She loved you Izabella" he said using her full name. "I named you after her as a memory of her but I failed you when I didn't tell you about her" he said. "I was foolishly hoping you had no memories of her and that I and the other Jellicles could take care of you in her place. I hope you can forgive me Iz" he pleaded.

"What was her name?" said Bella trying to put things together.

"Her name was Grizabella" said Old Deuteronomy and felt like he hoped both of them would forgive him for not telling earlier. It had been wrong of Grizabella to abandon another kitten, but it wasn't his right to deny that kitten her right of knowing about her mother. He felt his anger for the gone queen slip away as he realised that he had also been running away from the responsibilities.

"Why did she leave me?" said Bella and buried her face in her paws. The sounds of the kitten crying for this reason was too much for Old Deuteronomy. He pulled her up in his lap and rocked her gently. He had no answer to this question.

"Your mother loved you Iz, that is why she came here. She knew we would take care of you and love you in her place" he said struggling to keep his voice clear. "We will never leave you" he assured her.

They sat together quiet for a long time. Old Deuteronomy could see that it was well past both her and his bedtime and felt the kitten getting heavier in his arms. He knew that there was questions to be answered still, but they would have to wait until next day. He carefully put down Izabella on the blankets. He lay down next to her, wanting to stay close if she woke up. He wasn't sure there would be any sleep for him tonight but if he fell asleep he wanted to be sure to wake up immediately when she did. He was thankful that the conversation hadn't ended in anger, but he was prepared for Izabella to wake up feeling differently tomorrow. He was determined to keep her from hating her mother no matter what his own feelings eventually decided to settle at.

* * *

Old Deuteronomy had not slept at all that night. He knew he should have so that he would have energy for all the remaining questions but he just couldn't relax. Izabella had slept deep. He had been worried she might have more bad dreams but figured that one she told him about wasn't really a bad dream but a bad memory and he hoped that talking about it had made it less scary. When she started stirring early in the morning he made sure to be as alert as he could muster and soon she was fully awake.

"How are you feeling today?" Old Deuteronomy asked her.

"I don't know" said Bella. "I feel like I should be angry but I'm not, is that wrong?" she asked confused.

"It is okey to feel whatever comes up" he said. "Is there anything you wonder about?" he asked her.

"I don't know" said Bella again, trying to get a hold of all the thoughts that went through her head. "So Munk and Tugger are my brothers?" she asked. "You said I didn't have any brothers or sisters" she said accusingly and Old Deuteronomy got surprised that this was what made her most upset.

"I am sorry for that. I should have known that it was important to you" he said and hoped she would again forgive him.

"I wish I would have known" she said a bit more composed. "Is that why I have a mane just like Tugger?" she asked confusing herself with wondering about such unimportant things. Old Deuteronomy bit his tongue. This was another of his secrets, but this one he had kept by request from Grizabella. He decided that it was more important to be true to the ones in this life than to keep old secrets.

"Tugger was never Grizabellas" he said and saw the surprised face of the kitten."She disappeared right after she had stopped nursing Munkustrap and I was so angry with her for doing that. She just left without letting anybody know about it and we couldn't find her even though we looked for weeks, months even. Then she showed up one day with another kitten." He looked down at Izabella to make sure she was okey before he continued. "She didn't even want to stay the night before she left again but I was so angry with her for just running away again and I made her stay that night so we at least could talk." He felt the old feelings from that night come back before he pushed them to the side. "That night she made me promise to raise Tugger as my own and hers. I have loved him and treated him like my own and I think I would like for that to be true for him still, is that okey with you Bella?" he asked feeling selfish.

"It is okey" she said. "But I think telling the truth would be more fair" she added and Old Deuteronomy knew she was right. He also knew that since it was Izabella who thought so he wouldn't be able to ignore it.

"I think you might be right" he said with a sigh. "But will you let me think about how and when for a while?" he asked her and she nodded.

"So Grizabella isn't his mother?" she asked to make him continue the story.

"No" he sighed again. The other cats thought he was wise but when he talked to Izabella he sometimes felt like she knew more about life than he ever would. Like she knew so much better about the things that actually mattered. "It was a friend of her that saved Grizabella from being run over by a car that night, only for her to be run over instead. Grizabella couldn't stand being reminded about how she thought her friend should have been the one who survived. She almost couldn't look at Tugger when she brought him here, she felt so guilty for living. No matter what me or anyone thought of all she had done, she is forgiven now. And even though it can seem selfish, she did it because she loved you all. She just wasn't strong enough to show it." he said and just like he had told Izabella that putting words on your thoughts made them clearer he felt his feelings towards Grizabella was clearer. And all signs pointed to him actually forgiving her.

* * *

They had kept talking and Bella was feeling better. Even though nothing of this was what she expected and had wished for it was better knowing than to keep wondering. She had told Old Deuteronomy that and reminded him that she thought it was the right thing to tell Tugger as well. She could see that it troubled the old tom to do so and he had asked her again to keep the secret a bit longer until he could come back next time and talk to his son. After all the fact that he was his son would not change even though it wasn't by blood. Old Deuteronomy had collected a pile of old items that he would bring from the den but Bella tried to make sure he knew he would always be welcome to stay there when he visited and hoped that he could hear that it was mostly for her sake. She felt a bit uneasy that he was already leaving but they had talked about what she could do if she felt like she was getting lonely. She could always send for him to come stay with her for a while, but most Jellicles would love to keep her company if she told them she needed it. That was the hard part though, admitting to need support. She followed Old Deuteronomy to the door of the den before he left.

"And remember Iz, that it is always okey to ask for help, everyone would love to help you and even though I'm not here you can _always_ send for me, I will come immediately if you need me, ok?" Old Deuteronomy said and made sure to get an answer from Izabella.

"I know, thank you" said Bella and it felt like she could actually ask if she needed it. "When will you be back and talk to your son?" she asked and felt the roles change between them.

"Give me a week or two?" Old Deuteronomy asked of her and felt like he was a kitten again. He stood outside her door looking in on the almost grown queen and felt again that whatever struggles she had he would always help her, but something about her made you feel like she was the one helping you instead. She made him see things differently and he felt like maybe she was destined to come to him to make him change his old ways for something better.

"I don't think I will tell anyone about my mother until then" said Bella. "It feels like I need some time to think about it before everybody knows" she said carefully.

"Just make sure you don't keep it to yourself if you do need to talk about it. You don't have to grow up to be like Grizabella, you can always choose your own way, and you can honor all you like about a parent without being held back by the things you don't like." he said before giving her a hug. "Promise to send for me if you need me?" he said holding her shoulders and looking into her eyes.

"Promise" said Bella and smiled.

They waved goodbye and Bella returned inside her new den.

* * *

Munkustrap was confused about what he had heard. He knew he was not supposed to hear that conversation but he had opened a crack for ventilation when he slept and as protector he was always prepared to wake up for the slightest of noise outside. So when they started talking outside he heard it all. But it felt like he missed some of the information. 'Izabella was the daughter of Grizabella?' he thought. It made sense when he thought back to the first day when Old Deuteronomy brought her there. He had said she came to him immediately after the last Jellicle ball and now he remembered him saying something about Izabella being named after her mother. 'But that would make her my half sister, why haven't dad told me?' he asked himself. He remembered that Bella had said that she didn't want anyone to know just yet and he would of course let her decide when she wanted to tell everyone. 'But I should probably keep an extra eye on her to make sure she is ok' he thought. He was thinking that he would probably have to keep an extra eye on Tugger when all this came out, they hadn't really talked about their mother and especially not since the ball. Munk had recognized Grizabella but he knew Tugger didn't put all pieces together until after the ball. 'It must be Tugger who was the son he heard their dad would come back to talk to' he figured. Munkustrap stretched before he raised from bed. It was his job to keep Bella's secret for now but if something happened he would be prepared to be there for her.


	11. Chapter 11

**New one right away, yay!**

 **I don't own Cats**

* * *

As soon as Old Deuteronomy had left Bella she felt some of the safety and support go as well. She had promised that she would send for him or talk to someone if she needed to and she had thought that she could do it, but now she wasn't so sure anymore. 'What would anyone think of Grizabella being her mother?' she thought. She knew the old queen had been forgiven by the tribe but they didn't know about all things she had asked to be forgiven for. Thoughts started to swirl inside Bella's head and she decided that it was just easier to distract herself for now and maybe everything would be clearer later on. She shrugged and started walking towards the clearing, 'Maybe I can find an audience?' she thought.

* * *

Tugger knew that Bella would not come visit him during the night. He had said he had plans, he knew she got a new den and that his dad was staying there for the night, but still. He knew he shouldn't have but he had went over to Bomba instead of another queen for the reason that he knew he could just leave her early if he wanted to. He had decided that he wouldn't but he couldn't fool himself that he had not given himself an out if he needed it. And when it got late his thoughts kept coming back to the fact that maybe Bella would still come by his den tonight. It wasn't likely, but if she did it was the first time in a long time and he wouldn't want to be somewhere else then. He had debated back and forth with himself, but it was just so confusing to not be able to think straight. He was used to just go by the first feeling he had and not second guessing himself. Everything usually just turned out in his favor anyway, but now he had tossed the thoughts back and forth for so long that he couldn't remember what his first instinct had been. He could see the amused face of Bomba when he came up with a lame excuse and left early that night. He hated that smug face and however much he wanted to stay and turn the power balance he could feel his whole body and mind getting pulled back to his own den. How he hated when he had to play by someone else's rules.

* * *

The Rum Tum Tugger was cranky today. He had gotten back to his empty den as he suspected and he had slept bad. To top it all he had woken up early and all he could catch for breakfast was a small mouse. When he entered the clearing his fan club wasn't up yet and he had just laid down on top of the old oven in the sun to nap. 'A good nap could always turn a bad day around' he thought, but hoped the kittens would soon be up. Nothing bad about a nap in the sun but it couldn't compare with being admired and idolized. He smirked to himself, 'nothing wakes you up like the scream of a queen kitten in ecstasy' he thought and relaxed in the sun, knowing what would come soon enough.

* * *

Bella entered the clearing just to find it empty. For a minute she felt the bad feelings come back. 'Now everything was changed and they would all just stay in their own dens and she would be lonely' she thought. But then she saw a tail hanging down from on top of the old oven and she let out a sigh of relief. And then a smile. She knew who that tail belonged to. She immediately got in a better mood and decided to sneak up on him and surprise him. Just when she was below the oven and about to pull his tail she heard him speak.

"If you pull my tail there will be no dancing today kitten and I know you can't enjoy a day without the mesmerizing hips of The Rum Tum Tugger" Tugger said with a seductive voice convinced the soft steps below belonged to a kitten of his fan club.

"Oh I think I can manage" said Bella teasingly as she jumped up next to him on the oven. Tugger froze and just stared at her. He was not at all prepared and forgot to even search his head for something to say. "Hello? Tugger? Is anybody in there?" she said and waved her paw in front of his face. That pulled him back to the present again.

"Oh, hi, hello Bella, I wasn't expecting you" he stuttered feeling very little like himself. Bella just frowned her eyebrows and looked at him. "I mean, eh, don't you have a group of tom kittens to entertain?" he said and punched her arm softly.

"Haha nah, no one is up, I think they are all in their new dens sleeping in" she said and tried to make it sound like that was no problem at all to her. "What are you doing up?" she asked realising this was the cat that had coined the expression sleeping in.

"Bad night's sleep" said Tugger truthfully.

"Did something happen?" asked Bella.

"Nope, the opposite actually" he said with a wink. For some reason he didn't want Bella to know he had hung out with Bombalurina last night.

"So Bomba wasn't available?" she teased him and he got surprised again that she actually understood things like that. 'There is something off with him' Bella thought.

"None of your business" he said and stuck out his tongue. But he had to look away when they locked eyes. 'She is really beautiful' he thought and reminded himself for the hundredth time that she was a kitten. 'Not really though' said another voice in his head. 'Yes really' he argued back knowing that even though she was soon to be a queen, all the other cats would scold him if he tried anything with her now. He liked to do the opposite of what everyone else thought was right but actually doing anything more than teasing the kittens was something he himself considered off limits.

"Whatever" said Bella but to his surprise she put a paw under his jaw and turned his head so he looked back into her eyes again. He swallowed. "But if you want to talk about it..." she said hoping he would understand the rest of it. It was easier to be there for someone else than to open up about her own thoughts. Either way this was the last cat she could talk about it with. She let go of his jaw. "Then I guess you are tired now, want to go for a nap? Some tom showed me the perfect place yesterday" she said with a wink.

"Haha sure" said Tugger and shrugged. He liked hanging out with Bella, even though it was hard to keep his mind on track. They could keep hang out as friends, he could always put in a move on her when she got older. 'Unless someone beats you to it' that other annoying voice added.

* * *

Munkustrap saw the two cats disappear together. He recognized the look his brother had when he looked at Bella and he didn't like it. It wasn't well known around the junkyard that Grizabella was their mother and it was highly likely that Bella had no idea that both him and Tugger were her half brothers. Oh well, she did not have the same look on her face and she seemed to be the one kitten in the junkyard who didn't fall for the charm of The Rum Tum Tugger. But he would keep a closer eye on his brother as well, and he hoped that their dad would return soon and have that talk he heard about.

* * *

Bella felt euphoric for some reason. It felt so good to be with someone again and not have to wander around alone. She remembered how much she had adored Tugger when she first came to the tribe and let her paw rest on the pearl necklace he had given her. It was her most prised possession and it was only them who knew how she had really got it. Tugger had been so nice to her, and he always made her happy when they hung out. She smiled when she remembered how he had held her and sang to her, it had been so great. She wondered for a second what that song would mean to him after he found out that it wasn't his mother that had sung it. She hoped Old Deuteronomy would come back soon and tell him, it wasn't right to keep this from him. His mother had loved him and even though she was gone she had never abandoned him and he deserved to know that.

She was the first one to reach the tree and climbed up to the third branch. She looked down and saw Tugger standing on the branch below her.

"Come down here" he said. "This is really the most comfortable one to lie on and we will probably be alone here anyway" he said and Bella wondered why he was so concerned about the fact that they could not be seen together. 'His reputation would only be boosted by being seen with another queen?' she thought but then reminded herself that she wasn't a queen yet and that maybe he was embarrassed to be seen hanging out alone with one of the kittens. 'He would probably rather be with Bomba' she thought but she was still happy not to be alone and it didn't matter to her if he was embarrassed as long as she didn't have to be lonely again.

"Alright, but I get to sleep on your lap again" she said wanting to feel even closer to him, to someone.

"You can sleep in my arms if you want to babe" Tugger said before he could stop himself and froze. He watched Bella raise an eyebrow but then shrug her shoulders and lean in against him. He let out a sigh of relief and repeated his mantra about her being a kitten. When he kept repeating the words he didn't feel as guilty about pulling her close in his arms. "Today I am more tired than you" he said. "Want to sing me something this time?" he said with a cheeky voice to tease Bella.

"Sure" she said to his surprise and moved a little to be able to breathe better during the song.

* * *

When she started to sing Tugger felt himself relax. Like always when she sang it was so different from everyone else, but she didn't use her strong voice and almost whispered the song with her head laying on his chest. It was like her voice could describe her beauty and everything else that was beautiful in the world. He let his paw stroke down her back and all his instincts told him to turn on the charm and seduce her like he would have with any other queen, but he knew he had to fight it. It wasn't the fact that she was a kitten that held him back though, It was the thought that if he was to seduce her he would make it special, _if_ he was to seduce her it would never be like with any other queen, _she_ was special.

* * *

Bella felt Tuggers paw on her back and the feeling of him wanting her to be there with him made her smile. It felt so great to be close to him and him holding her. She felt like she could stay there forever and kept making up more lyrics so the song wouldn't have to end. A thought of worry managed to make it into her mind and she could feel it starting to stir in there and taking over. 'Soon he will remember I am only a kitten and that I will not be enough for him' She knew that you shouldn't have to do anything you weren't ready for to keep a tom around but she felt vulnerable right now. She wasn't herself and hadn't been since yesterday even though it felt like it was at least a week of feelings that had passed. She wanted to keep Tugger there and singing would only keep him for so long. She knew what a queen would do to show a tom she wanted him and even though it wasn't what she was ready for she couldn't bear the thought of him going now that she really needed to be close.

* * *

Tugger could feel Bella stiffen a bit in his arms and he hoped he hadn't made her feel uncomfortable. He wanted to show her that he was satisfied just laying there with her in his arms and hear her sing. He would be her friend but if she wanted more in the future he realised that he would want that and also that he was prepared to wait. He took a deep breath and let the realisation sink in. He actually wanted to be with her, and he would wait for her. He smiled and looked down as Bella stopped singing.

"Your voice is beautiful" he said. "I could listen to you all day" he continued, trying to show her that was all he wanted and nothing more now. Bella heard something completely different and thought he was complimenting her to seduce her. She swallowed and braced herself before pulling up and putting her lips against his. Tugger instinctively kissed her back and put a paw on her neck before he realised what was happening. He pushed back and stared at her.

"Did I do something wrong?" asked Bella trying to swallow tears that wanted to build up in her eyes.

"Yes, you are only a kitten, I can't kiss you!" Tugger said in shock and immediately regretted how it sounded. He saw tears building up in Bella's eyes and didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry!" she said before her voice broke. "I just wanted...tt-to...I knew I would embarrass myself" she said more to herself than him and before Tugger could answer any of it she snuck past him down the tree and ran back towards the junkyard.

Tugger felt like an ass. He had done everything wrong, both leading her on and shooting her down. He knew it was selfish but he prayed that Bella would keep this to herself. That no one had to know, because they would tear him apart if they found out, mostly thinking about Jenny and Munk but knew the others wouldn't hold back either. 'Maybe I should just get away from here for a few days?' he thought. Before he could think too much about it he decided that was the best idea and headed out into the city, he had a place he could stay at until this storm blew over.

* * *

 **Oh no, when will he be back?**


	12. Chapter 12

**So I have been quite stuck on this one. I realised that I have a hard tme pulling the trigger on my plans and instead just keep building things up.**

 **It turns out all you have to do when you get stuck is writing a Tuggoffelees oneshot in between. Turn the rating to M and search for 'A tight fit' if you are interested in that, otherwise keep reading, I am soo grateful to see that you are still reading, if you want to leave a review you would make my day!**

 **I don't own Cats**

* * *

Munkustrap had been wrong. He realised it when Bella came running back from where he had seen her and Tugger go to earlier and it looked suspiciously a lot like she was crying. Immediately he got furious with his brother. Without thinking he turned towards the direction Bella had came from and started heading there to tear his brother to pieces. But when he had come to a dead end in the junkpiles he stopped and got horrified at his reaction. He still wanted to tear Tugger apart for hurting Bella but how could he have let her running off alone? Munk turned around quickly and decided that his brother could be scolded whenever but Bella needed someone now. He just hoped that she had gone back to her new den so he could find her.

As he came closer he had no idea what to say to Bella. He couldn't tell her he knew, but he could still have seen her going with Tugger and coming back crying. He hoped that she wouldn't think he had spied on her, he was the protector of the tribe and could get away with just keeping a lookout even though he had been spying on her this time. He knocked on the door to Bella's den.

"Bella? Are you there?" he said and decided to enter anyway.

"Oh hello Munk, come in" said Bella, with no sign of crying in her voice and only a trace of red around her eyes. She had recovered quickly when she got back and had decided to act like nothing had happened at all. She just pushed all the other feelings down for now. She was just preparing to go back out again and finding someone else to hang out with when Munk had knocked on the door.

"Is everything ok?" he asked a bit confused that he might have misinterpreted the situation. "I was checking on the junkyard and saw you come running back from your meeting with our- with my brother" he said biting his tongue.

"Oh that" said Bella and tried to come up with a good explanation. "I slipped down when we climbed in a tree and felt so embarrassed I ran away" she decided to try.

"Oh I see, are you ok?" Munk asked concerned.

"Oh absolutely, I just feel a bit silly" she said trying to laugh about it.

"Are you sure? I was afraid he might have done something..eh Tuggerish?" he asked just to make sure.

"Haha oh no not at all" laughed Bella. "I am just a kitten, he wouldn't want that anyway" she said. "Not me either, no no, I have eh..nope, nothing like that" she concluded trying to look Munk in the eyes and shaking her head.

"Ehm, okey then" said Munk very confused. "Because if he tried anything you could just tell me and I would handle it" he said to make sure she knew.

"Yes thank you, but everything is fine, just little me being a clumsy kitten" she said laughing again. "Is the other kittens up yet?" she asked to change the subject.

"Maybe they are now" said Munkustrap still a bit confused. He didn't know Bella well enough to know if she told the truth but he decided that it was just easiest to find his brother and ask him as well. "You don't want to eat breakfast with me and Demeter?" he asked her.

"I'd love to" said Bella and they went to the den next door.

* * *

Bella stayed for breakfast as long as she could and really enjoyed the company of her new neighbours. She was happy that soon enough Munk would be her brother but she didn't want to say anything yet. If she would she had to reveal the secret about Tugger as well, otherwise she had just kissed their brother. She hoped that Tugger wouldn't tell anyone, but if he did it was best that no one knew about her mother. The memory of what had happened earlier came back and she could feel her face turning red as she thought about how stupid she had acted. She had thought that Tugger would want to stay with her if she acted more like a queen but instead she had ruined everything by forcing him to kiss a kitten. She decided that she would just keep acting like nothing had happened and hoped that Tugger would leave it at that. It couldn't be in his favor that anyone knew either, she figured. When both Munk and Demeter was ready to go out and start their day Bella had to find other company. She was anxious about going out to the others. She didn't know if Tugger would be there and how he would act and she had delayed as long as she could.

* * *

Munkustrap was also a bit anxious. He could sense that there was something bothering Bella but she didn't want to tell him and he was torn whether he should tell her what he knew so that she would have someone to confide in or if he should just leave it be and continue to keep an eye at her. He wasn't that sure that Tugger was completely innocent in this either, but he couldn't get anything more out of Bella no matter how much he tried to lead the conversation back to his brother. When they had sat down much longer than usual for breakfast he knew he had to start the day and decided that he would let Bella have her secret for now but if she kept acting strangely he had to try to talk to her or send for Old Deuteronomy. With a sigh he made it out of the den accompanied by the two others and set his mind to finding Tugger. He had been convinced that the tom would be outside with his fan club but when they came out it was just a confused group of kittens up. They all ran over to Bella as she emerged and he could hear them begging her to come dance and sing with them. Munkustrap smiled when he saw that both the queen and tom kittens competed for Bella's attention now that Tugger wasn't there. 'She is just like him in so many ways' he thought. But he hadn't recognized her usual confidence this morning. That was about to change though. It seemed that Bella, just like Tugger fed her confidence with the attention from the kittens. 'Just don't make her as vain' Munk thought to himself and chuckled.

* * *

Bella let all her concerns go when she was greeted to the clearing by all the kittens. Even the queen kittens begged her to dance with them and she just let herself get sucked into the warm and welcoming attention they all offered. It took her a while to realise that most of the attention was due to the fact that there was no Tugger around to share it with and at first she felt relieved. She danced with all the kittens, not wanting to dance alone at all today and even though she had a hard time she tried to keep up with the others singing duets instead of singing solo, it felt like she didn't want to do anything alone after that embarrassing start to the day. But as the day progressed she was starting to worry where Tugger actually was. She had just left him and thought that he would come back sooner or later, but it was much later now and she had heard that Munk had been asking around about him. A terrible thought started to grow in her head and she could feel herself having a hard time breathing deeply. 'What if he had left her?' she thought. He could have felt like she was so annoying that he just left to not have to deal with her anymore. She knew that she hadn't acted that mature earlier and that it was probably embarrassing for him. 'What if the others found out what she had done?' she thought. And instead of admiration she just thought everybody looked at her like she was the annoying kitten that took up too much space and didn't know when to stop. Instead of the rush she felt before when she had teased and toyed with the tom kittens she now felt like they were the ones who laughed at her. 'They probably laugh at me when I don't hear them, that's why no one was up this morning ,they were together in someone's den and talked about what a fool I am' she thought and the world around her started spinning. Before she knew it she heard a thud and felt the ground punching her in the back. She saw the sky when she looked straight forward and got confused by the perspective. The last thing she saw before everything turned black were the faces of the other kittens looking down on her.

* * *

Munkustrap had raced over immediately when he saw Bella fall. He still banned himself for not being fast enough to catch her before she hit the ground. He dissolved the group of kittens towering over her and scooped her up in his arms. Then it was full speed towards Jenny's den. Jenny was already prepared. She had a slow morning without the kittens and had decided to go through all her medical supplies just in case. She would never admit it of course but when Munk entered with Bella she felt very much needed again and it was her favourite feeling. She made Munk put Bella on one of the beds and began to examine her. Almost as soon as Jenny started to look for her pulse Bella woke up. She was confused and couldn't remember what happened.

"So good to see you waking up dear" said Jenny holding Bella down when she tried to sit up. "Just lie down a bit longer and I will make sure everything is ok" she said.

"What happened?" asked Bella confused. "How did I get here?" she asked when she realised she was in Jenny's den.

"You fell down out in the clearing" said Munkustrap. "I think you fainted" he continued and looked at Jenny for confirmation.

"It looks like you are right" said Jenny. "Does anything hurt dear? Do you feel dizzy or any nausea?" she continued and kept pinching and pulling at Bella's ears, chins and eyelids to make sure she was okey.

"I'm fine" said Bella firmly and pulled away. The thoughts from earlier came back and she felt like she wanted to be far away from everyone. But still, she couldn't be alone. She couldn't be left. "Is Tugger back?" she asked Munk who looked confused by the question.

"Ehm no, I think I will send out someone to look for him in the city. He goes away sometimes, but he is usually back in a few days" he said but he had seen that this was somehow connected to what he had seen earlier.

"Oh, okey" said Bella and looked down.

"Jenny, may I speak to Bella in private?" asked Munkustrap and decided that the time was up to just keep an eye on Bella.

"Give me a few minutes to check on everything" said the queen and went back to examine the reluctant patient.

Munk tried to use the time to go through what he wanted to say to Bella but he had no idea where to start. He knew that Bella wasn't herself and that it had something to do with Tugger. But he also knew that she had just found out about her mother being Grizabella and that she must have abandoned her. It could be several reasons to why Bella had been overwhelmed and he was afraid that starting at the wrong end would make the kitten retreat back into her shell again. Before he had decided what was the best tactic he got a nod from Jenny and she left the den to go out to the kittens and inform them that Bella was ok.

"Ehrm, are you feeling ok?" he asked to buy himself some time.

"No Jenny just decided that I was terribly sick and left me with you instead of treating it" said Bella sarcastically feeling like she was pushed into a corner. She had seen that Munk reacted to her question about Tugger and she didn't want to talk about it.

"Haha yes of course" said Munk trying to laugh. "Bella" he said more seriously. "Something happened this morning that you are not telling me about" he said and hoped that it was the right end to start in.

"Nothing happened" said Bella biting her teeths together. "I was just embarrassed that I slipped on some junk" she said looking away.

"You said you slipped down the tree" said Munk trying to look into Bella's eyes. Bella felt her lip start to tremble as she realised she had forgotten which lie she had used.

"It was my fault" she said and started to cry. Munk sat down on the side of the bed and pulled her in close.

"It's okey Bella, I'm sure it was not your fault" he said convinced his brother had been the one to blame no matter what happened.

"I kissed him" said Bella.

"Oh" said Munk not expecting that. "You shouldn't blame yourself Bella" he continued when he had collected himself. "He was leading you on and I will make sure he is absolutely clear about how inappropriate it-"

"You don't understand!" interrupted Bella. "It was just me, I feel so stupid, I thought he liked to hang out with me but he just thinks I am some stupid kitten and now I made him kiss me and everyone will think it's his fault and he's going to hate me, that's why he is gone, he hates me!" she screamed out hysterically before she started sobbing into Munks chest.

Munkustrap had been sitting down with Bella for a long time before she settled down and stopped crying. He had not said anything else than comforting nothings and had questioned whether it was okey or not to bring up Izabella's mother. He decided that it was probably the situation with Tugger that had made Bella react like she did and not anything about her mother and he thought that if he could find Tugger things would probably work out for the best. He already thought about her like his little sister and smiled at the thought. He had been spending a lot of time as a protector to think of the best way to make Bella feel like she belonged to the whole tribe and see them as her family, but it would be wonderful to be able to tell her that she actually had a family. He remembered how she had asked if she could have the other kittens as brothers and sisters that first day and then he felt his heart break a bit about the fact that she didn't have a family, but now instead he was part of it. He thought about Tugger and even though Bella had said she was the only one to blame he knew his brother and the look he gave Bella before they walked off this morning. He would make sure Tugger knew Bella was off limits no matter the parent situation. He turned his focus back on Bella and put his paw under her chin to turn her face up towards him.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked and she nodded. "Good. I am going to find Tugger and talk to him. I am sure he doesn't hate you and will see that it was all a misunderstanding. You are not to blame for anything Bella, will you be ok for now?" he asked and hoped that she would tell him otherwise.

"I will be fine" said Bella but she wasn't sure she actually would be. Even though it was a misunderstanding Tugger had still just left her because she was too hard to deal with. Just like her mother had done with her. And Munk would probably think the same when he learned that she had been lying to him and that it was actually her fault one of the Jellicles had left. 'And why wouldn't all the others think the same?' she thought. But she swallowed the feelings threatening to take over and pulled back from Munk. "I think I will go out to the others so they don't worry" she said but felt like they probably didn't care anyway.

"Okey" said Munk. "I will be gone for a while but if you need anything you can always ask Jenny or Demeter, or anyone else for that matter" he added.

"Thank you" said Bella and pushed out a smile.

They went out to the clearing again and Munk went to find Alonzo to make him keep an eye on the junkyard while he searched for Tugger. He had wanted to send out several other cats to look for him to find him faster but now he was convinced that it would be best if it was he himself who found him and could talk to him.

* * *

Bella was swarmed by the other kittens when she returned and Jenny had to step in and remind them that Bella probably needed some space even though she was physically ok. The old queen had also seen that Bella's eyes were a bit red after the talk with Munk and decided to stay out in the clearing for a while to see if any of the symptoms returned.

Bella was thankful that Jenny gave her some space but she could see that the old queen was worried about her. Bella decided that she had to act as normal as possible to make Jenny relax again. She didn't want the other cats to have to take care of her. The kittens recovered and instead of trying to get Bella to dance and sing with them they competed for her attention where she sat. It actually didn't take too long for Bella to start to relax and feel more like herself again. When any of the old feelings showed up in her mind she firmly pushed it back and hoped they would all resolve themselves eventually. She was keeping an eye at the gate of the junkyard to see if Munk returned with Tugger but time passed without any signs of them.

When the night was starting to get late Bella started to feel all built up emotions risking to flood. Jenny had returned to her tasks a long time ago and Bella had actually been dancing and singing a little with the others. It seemed that Munk hadn't told anybody about her before he left and she was grateful that he and Tugger were the only ones who knew. But when the kittens started to get tired and drop off to their own dens the panic returned. She did not want to have to spend the night alone and tried to keep the ones who were left for as long as possible. Eventually it was only her, Tumblebrutus and Pouncival left. She saw Bombalurina pass and shoot a look towards Pounce who made up an excuse and went in the direction of their dens. Bella swallowed. It got a bit awkward since she and Tumble hadn't spent any time together without the others and Bella didn't know what to say.

"I should probably go back to my den as well" said Tumble but with a look that seemed to say 'or what do you want to do?' and Bella decided that she might as well see if Tumble was someone who could keep her loneliness away.

"I was thinking about staying up late and maybe just take a nap or something" she said trying to see if she had read his look right.

"Oh okey, ehm, maybe we can hang out a little longer if you want to?" he said trying to sound like it was not exactly what he hoped for.

"Okey" she said. "I know a place" she said with a wink and turned around and walked towards the secret entrance Tugger had shown her. It felt a bit wrong to show him their secret place but she thought that it was worth it not to be alone. 'And what are the odds that Tugger had not shown it to all the queens of the junkyard?' she thought. She looked over her shoulder to see if Tumble had followed her and saw him hurry after her. When he had caught up with her he put his arm around her shoulder.

"I thought you said you'd keep me waiting?" he said teasingly to her with faked confidence.

"Don't flatter yourself, you were the only one left" said Bella taking him down a few notches but letting him keep his arm around her. It didn't feel as safe and comforting as when Tugger held his arm around her but it felt a lot better than before.

"Ouch" said Tumble but Bella could see that he smiled and he squeezed her shoulder a little. "You look really pretty tonight" he said and Bella could hear some of his insecurity through the compliment. She decided to give him some hope so that he would want to stay.

"Thank you" she said and nuzzled him and smiled. She could see him breathe out and relax a bit. "We have to sneak through here" she said when they came to the hidden entrance. She loosened herself from his hold and went through. Tumble followed closely and looked a bit impressed at what was hidden on the other side before he put his arm back over her shoulders.

"How did you find this?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"I was just curious and stumbled upon it" she said and felt her conscience tug a bit at her before she pushed it away. Tumble seemed satisfied with the answer and they walked over to the tree. Bella was about to prepare herself for the jump up when she felt the grip around her shoulder change and suddenly she stood with her back against the tree with Tumble in front of her with one of his paws against the tree and the other holding her paw.

"You look really beautiful tonight Bella" he said and looked into her eyes. She felt the need to look away and tried to make it look like she blushed over his compliment. But she really felt like this was not what she had wanted. She only wanted to spend time with someone. She didn't want to do anything else, maybe just take a nap in his lap or holding paws but she could feel that he wanted something more. She was confused because she had thought the same this morning and then she had been all wrong. 'But maybe it was the fact that they were both kittens still that made him think it was ok?' she thought. It would probably not be anything embarrassing to Tumble if it came out that they had kissed. 'And a kiss was quite innocent even though she didn't want it, right?' She just really didn't want to be alone tonight.

"Thank you" she said again and tried to look up into his eyes. He was a bit taller than her.

"And you dance beautifully" said Tumble and let go of her paw to brush her cheek with it. "And you sing beautifully" he continued and stroke her ear. Bella forced out a small purr even though the only thing that felt good about this was the fact that they were two. Tumble leaned forward and tried to put his lips against hers but she turned her head a bit to the side so the kiss ended up on her cheek instead.

"We are just kittens" she said and tried to make it sound like that was the main reason.

"It is only a kiss" he said with a smile. "You should see what Pouncival does with Bomba" he said and laughed a little. Bella tried to laugh with him.

"Hehe, okey, maybe just a little kiss then" she said and tried to focus on the fact that she was lucky to be here with someone. She wasn't left by Tumble, he was here, unlike Tugger. He had just left her. The thought of Tugger reached her mind about the same time as Tumble leaned in again and brushed his lips against her carefully. It felt nothing like that stupid, wonderful kiss Tugger had given her in the morning, she thought and tried to push back the feelings. Tugger wasn't here. He had left because he thought she was such an annoying kitten. She could feel that Tumble was really gentle with her but it still didn't feel right. She tried to push her lips harder against his to see if it felt differently, if she could make it feel less like she was drowning. Tumble got surprised by the pressure and put his paw at the base of her neck and his other arm around her thinking that maybe he could try some of the things Pounce had told him about. Bella froze as she felt the arm around her. This was wrong. Everything about this felt wrong and nothing would make it feel right. 'Not even leaving' she thought but decided that it was the only option that would not make it feel worse. She squirmed out of Tumbles grip and bolted, very much like she had done this morning.

When Bella tried to run away she heard a scream and ran straight into another cat. A red and tall cat she had never met but that gave her chills down her spine.


	13. Chapter 13

**So here's another chapter and I actually decided to pull the trigger. Read and review if you want to, I'd love to hear both good and bad!**

 **Don't own any cats that I know of.**

* * *

Tugger felt like his normal self for almost an hour after he left the junkyard. He didn't second guess his decision and he could shake the awkward moment he had with Bella, no problem. He even thought about trying to find some queen to try out what he and Bomba had done together. But when he realised that he hadn't eaten properly and that whoever he wanted to meet up with would most likely not be interested until the evening, all doubts caught up with him. At first he was mostly angry with Bella for making him feel this way. He hated that she was the one setting the rules. He couldn't even help himself and had kissed her back. He felt a shudder down his spine. The kiss had been fantastic, really gentle, but at the same time it had been horrible. He knew he couldn't walk around and seduce kittens. Even though they were almost queens now there was an unspoken rule and it applied more to him than any other cat since he was the big flirt and heartbreaker. And he was a tom and she a queen. The others didn't care what the tom kittens did with the queens but it was different when it came to the queen kittens. And he was son to the leader of their tribe. Not the perfect son, but still.

'And why had she kissed him?' he thought. She had said something about embarrassing herself and he thought that maybe she really had a crush on him like the other queen kittens. But she hadn't shown any signs of it before. 'Something must have happened' he thought and wondered if it was something he'd done or something else. He knew that the only way he could get an answer was to go back and ask her, but even though he didn't want to admit it, he was scared about how the others would react. She had taken initiative, and that to start with would be tough to convince the others about. But he had kissed her back and then rejected her. He felt ashamed when he thought about how insensitive he had been about it. He just got shocked and the thoughts about what would happen if the others found out took over. He knew that when the evening came he would have a hard time stopping himself from going back and hoping she would want to see him. He had tried so many times to just ignore it but he knew the temptation to go back would be tough to resist. Tugger decided that he needed to get distracted so that his mind could clear and when he felt his stomach reminding him about the small breakfast he had earlier his legs started walking towards his human home. 'If shit hits the fan that would be the first place they'd look for me' he thought but reasoned that he might as well be comfortable until then.

After a few hours at his human home he was well fed and lounged on a cushion near a radiator. He could have been worse. As he had imagined it was already hard not to speed back to the junkyard to see Bella. He was getting more convinced that she probably had a crush on him and it made him feel smug about himself. He knew she would come around eventually. But he couldn't shake that weird feeling he had that there was something special about her. Something that made him want to take it slow, and whatever came out of it he wanted it to last. He had never felt like that before and he couldn't really see what was special this time, only the feeling that it was. He realised that he liked Bella as a friend, she was someone he could talk to and someone he could relax around. 'Maybe I only like her as a friend?' he thought but remembered the kiss and the feeling when he held her in his arms. No there was something else there. It would just be easier to go back and talk to her and he started to regret his decision to run away in the first place. He hoped that he hadn't ruined anything now and at the same time he was irritated that she had such a big impact on him. Normally he left a queen whenever he felt like it and he knew he had broken some hearts in the past as well, it usually never affected him like this. For some reason this was important. He let out a deep sigh and decided to take a nap and see if he could think clearer afterwards.

When Tugger woke up he saw that it was dark outside and he knew that the kittens wouldn't be up much longer. 'Maybe Bella would still want to see him tonight?' he thought and left his human family. He hadn't more than turned a corner when he saw his older brother coming towards him. 'Oh boy, here we go' he thought and braced himself for what to come.

"Tugger!" said Munkustrap walking towards him looking very angry. Tugger figured he knew what had happened.

"Munk!" he said back trying to laugh at the harsh tone.

"Don't joke around now, this is serious" said Munk as they met up. "Do you have a good explanation to why Bella cried in my arms after she fainted in the junkyard, hm?" he said putting his paws to his sides so he wouldn't use them to shake some sense into his brother. He did not think that Bella was the one to blame in this.

"Is she ok?" asked Tugger worried.

"She is better" said Munk a bit taken by how worried Tugger had sounded. "But that is no explanation" he demanded.

"Ehm, what did she tell you?" said Tugger hoping he didn't have to enlighten his brother.

"You tell me what happened and we'll see if I believe you?" said Munk squinting his eyes. 'Well at least there was some doubt about it' thought Tugger.

"We just hung out like we do sometimes and, I don't know, she kissed me" he said looking away.

"That sounds reasonable" said Munk and Tugger looked up. "The one queen kitten in the junkyard who is unimpressed by you starts kissing you out of the blue, what did you do to lead her on?" said Munk and Tugger started to second guess himself. 'Maybe he had done more than he thought?' he reasoned with himself.

"I don't know! Actually we had a good time, we were resting and she.. ehm, sang for me, and I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable but I might have done so anyway, I don't know, I wasn't trying anything" he said pleading, hoping that it made more sense to Munk than to himself.

"Well you are not going to try anything either!" said Munk a little less convinced his brother was an ass. "You are going to get back with me, apologise to Bella and make sure she feels better!" Munk was raising his voice again.

"Geez take it easy, I will try alright?" said Tugger not sure he was the one to make everything better again.

"You are so immature, you just run away when things get tough! Have you _ever_ tried to stay and fix the mess you made?" said Munk shaking his head and realising the real reason he was so angry with his brother.

"Let's just go back" said Tugger biting his jaws together. Those last words had stung. He knew he was immature and selfish from time to time but he was still a lot younger than his brother. What hurt most was that this time he had tried to act unlike that with Bella but when it backfired he fell into old habits.

Munkustrap could see that he had been a little too harsh with his brother. Those last words had just slipped his mouth in the heat of the moment, but it had felt good to say them. There was some truth to them after all. Suddenly Tugger took a strange turn and walked off into another direction.

"Where are you going?" asked Munk confused.

"Oh" said Tugger who forgot his brother didn't know about the secret entrance. "I have a secret way in" he said and shrugged his shoulders.

"You have a secret way in and hasn't told the protector of the tribe about it? What if Macavity would find out?" said Munk as he hurried after Tugger.

"I.. I didn't think about that" said Tugger and stopped. He had just been happy to have a secret way out, he hadn't thought about the possibility of someone else to get in.

"Come on, let's make sure it is still secret" said Munk and hurried the steps.

Tugger picked up the pace as well and lead the way. He was opening a broken cupboard that had no back to enter into the clearing where the tree stood, and as soon as he entered he saw that the clearing was not empty. His heart sunk as he saw Bella standing against the tree with Tumblebrutus kissing her.

But then everything happened really fast. He saw Bella pushing away from Tumble almost in panic and at the same time he could feel Munk pushing him over screaming something. Tugger fell hard to the ground and when he looked up he could see Munkustrap mid air as he went for attack. Where he would land stood a tall and red cat Tugger knew too well and in between them stood Bella.


	14. Chapter 14

**Yay, new chapter! More action now, read and review if you want to, I really appreciate it :)**

 **And a big thank you to the guest who reviewed and liked it, I hope you will like it when it all comes together, I usually have a hard time with OCs but I have grown very fond of this story, I think I have a few chapters left.**

 **More important than ever, what I use from Cats in this chapter is not mine.**

* * *

Munkustrap landed between Bella and the intruder and he could see that he had startled the tall tom. He raised up trying to make himself look as big as possible.

"Protect the kittens!" he shouted towards Tugger without breaking eye contact with the red tom. "What are you doing here Macavity?" He said with a fierce voice but the other cat just grinned. Munkustrap could see that Tugger had gotten up on his feet and positioned himself in front of the two kittens. "What are you doing here Mac?" he repeated.

"Send the tom kitten back if you want to but the _queen stays_ " said Macavity putting emphasis on the last two words.

"She is only a kitten Macavity and you will not touch her!" said Munk with a hiss. Tugger stood with his back against the kittens trying not be paralyzed in fear. They all knew the reputation of this cat and he knew that even though Macavity had been Munks best friend as a kitten he wouldn't let that stop him from getting what he wanted.

"She _was_ a kitten until tonight" said Macavity still with a big grin on his face. "Oh, you don't know?" he said as he realised. "Well then, let me enlighten you, Munkustrap, let me introduce you to my daughter who is of today a queen" he said and started laughing.

"Your daughter?" said Munk confused and letting his arm down a bit. "No, that can't be true, Bella is Grizabella's daughter" said Munkustrap before he could stop himself. He heard the three cats behind him gasp but he didn't dare to turn his eyes from Macavity.

"And mine" said Macavity taking in the scene before him. He had not known that the old queen hadn't told them and enjoyed the shock on their faces. "Bella is it? Beautiful name, named after your mother?" he said looking past Munk and Tugger towards the now queen. "Those pearls really bring out your eyes, you have that from me" he said and widened his own eyes making them sparkle in green. Bella lifted her paw to her necklace and closed her eyes.

"You will not talk to her!" said Munk raising his voice and his arms again, preparing to fight the other tom. "Why would we believe you? And why would you come for her tonight?" said Munk.

"So Grizabella never told you?" he said and could see that Tugger stared at Bella with something that looked like fear and anger in his eyes. "She begged for me to let her go to your little ball with 'Bella', but I told her, that if she didn't come back the next day I would come for the kitten as she turned a queen and bring her back to the same cell I kept her in" he said with a grin, less amused and more evil. "It took me months to find my daughter, I wasn't sure until I saw her here yesterday, those curls and that voice, she even has some of my red fur" he said with eyes glowing as he looked at Bella.

"I don't care what you did to Grizabella but Bella is not yours, she is ours" he said firmly. "No matter what blood runs through her veins you have no claim to being her father" he hissed having a hard time controlling himself and he could see that Macavity was getting angrier.

" _She is mine!_ " he hissed back raising his arms with claws out.

"Tugger, bring them back to the junkyard and tell Alonzo I need backup!" shouted Munkustrap before he met the first blow from Macavity.

* * *

Tugger grabbed Bella and Tumblebrutus and just ran. He couldn't think, everything was just a mess in his head, but he could follow orders. When they came back to the clearing Tugger stopped and couldn't see anyone up. He looked down at Bella and realised how hard he must have pulled them both and let go. He gave her one last look of confusion before he turned around to go back to Munk. As he turned he could see Alonzo running towards him.

"What's wrong Tugger? Where is Munkustrap?" Alonzo asked since he assumed that they should have been coming back together.

"Macavity" said Tugger and they both ran back. When they came into the other clearing they could see Munkustrap sitting on the ground alone cleaning his wounds and...crying?

"Where is he Munk?" said Alonzo ready to fight.

"He..he just..said..he left, he disappeared" said Munk looking confused and with tears running down his face.

"What did he say?" said Tugger sitting down next to his brother, putting an arm around him.

"He pinned me down and told me what he had done to..to Grizabella" said Munk crying. "And he said he would do the same to Bella" he continued with panic in his eyes. "To his own daughter..." said Munk and broke down in Tuggers arms.

* * *

It didn't take Munk long time to push away all the overwhelming feelings and refocus on his role as protector of the tribe. He loosened himself from Tuggers embrace and stood up, lending a paw to Tugger. He pulled his brother up, took a deep breath and walked back to the junkyard's main clearing. When he entered he could see that Bella sat on the ground with Tumblebrutus next to her, sitting on his haunches carefully stroking over her back to comfort her. Munkustrap felt his brother pass him and could see his eyes shooting arrows.

"Get off her!" said Tugger pulling up Tumble and pushing him away. "So you are my sister? Why would you kiss me when you know I am your brother? What is wrong with you!?" he shouted down at Bella who tried to make herself as small as possible and hopefully just disappear. "What? Tell me!" Tugger shouted.

"Have you kissed _Tugger_?" said Tumble in shock as he pushed himself up from the ground again.

"Stay out of this!" said Tugger pushing Tumble back down on the ground again. "Come on Bella, tell me this is not true?" said Tugger lowering his voice, almost begging. Bella looked up at him with her eyes full of tears.

"I can't" she said. "I can't tell you.." she said looking down again.

"Tell me, please Bella" said Tugger grasping for the last straw. Bella suddenly got angry.

"Who cares about some stupid kiss!? My father is-" Bella shouted before she stopped herself and began crying into her paws. She had heard the stories of Macavity but he had never been a real threat to the tribe for as long as she had stayed there. It was almost like he wasn't real, just something they had used to scare each other with. And now it turned out that he was her father. Her mother must have been twice his age, it didn't make any sense. Her head started spinning and she had trouble breathing. Suddenly everything got black just like it had done earlier that day.

Munkustrap had rushed forward and pulled Tugger away. He laid Bella on her back and tried to repeat the procedures Jenny had done earlier. Bella started moving and looked up into his eyes.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"I think so" she said but looked confused.

"We are going back to my den" he decided and scooped her up. "Alonzo, send someone for Old Deuteronomy, ask him to come as fast as he can, and then set up guards" he ordered and Alonzo just nodded and turned around. "And you two" he said to Tugger and Tumblebrutus, "You go back to your dens and you do not talk to each other, and you _do not_ talk to someone else either, ok?" he said with his most stern voice and expression. They both nodded, Tugger more reluctantly, but since his thoughts were spinning out of control he just found it easier to follow the order.

* * *

Bella felt miserable. She had no idea what to say and even less what to think. Munkustrap had heard what Macavity did to their mother and he had no idea how to tell Bella. All he knew was that he had to protect her.

"How are you feeling Bella?" Munkustrap decided to ask her.

"I don't know" she whispered after a while. Munk could see how the thoughts stirred behind her eyes.

"Well I want you to know that we will keep you safe no matter what. We didn't know Macavity was planning something and we will set up guards and make sure that whatever he plans, you will be safe" he said, as it was one thing he knew for certain.

"You are not mad at me?" said Bella looking up at him with a surprised expression.

"Of course not Bella, why would you think that?" said Munkustrap. He was confused, Bella was the victim here, she should be the one mad at him for not being able to protect her properly.

"Because I lied, and for him being my father, I thought you would banish me from the tribe.." she said looking down. "Wait, you knew about my mother, how?" she said as she remembered it had been Munk who let that cat out of the bag in front of the others.

"I am sorry I said that, I shouldn't have." said Munk looking apologetically at Bella. "I overheard you talking to Old Deuteronomy and I know you wanted to keep it a secret, I will make sure no one else knows until you are ready to tell" he said hoping she would accept.

"It is ok, it was really just Tugger that couldn't know yet" she said frowning her eyebrows and looking away.

"We are your brothers now, I am very happy for that and I hope you will let me take care of you like a sister" Munk said, despite everything he felt so happy saying that and being able to give Bella a family again.

"Thank you" said Bella still looking away.

"Will you be our little sister?" he asked trying to get Bella to open up.

"I will be your little sister" said Bella. "But Tugger..." she started.

"Don't think about that kiss Bella, I am sure he will let that go" he said reassuringly. "But maybe don't do it again" he said with a smile, but he could see that something still wasn't alright with Bella.

"I wish I could tell you the whole truth" she said hesitantly. "But it is not mine to tell" she said and Munk knew he couldn't pressure her on this.

"I hope you will be able to tell me in time Bella, but no matter what we will still protect you, the whole tribe will help." he said changing back the subject.

"But I will put you all in danger!" said Bella. "You shouldn't have to fight Macavity because of me, I will go with him if that's what's needed" she said bravely but Munk could see the fear in her eyes.

"I will never let that happen, we will never let that happen." he said but got cut off by Bella.

"But you will all be in danger, and what if I am like him?" she said looking at Munk with desperation in her eyes.

"You are not like him Bella" Munk said calmly. "You have been here for months and has shown no signs of being like him, why would that change?" said Munk and Bella relaxed a little. She knew logically that who she was would not be changed by this new knowledge, but she had also felt so differently the last few days, she hadn't been her normal self.

"I am such a mess, I have the two worst parents in the world" she said trying to laugh a little.

"Hey! That's my mother as well you speak of" said Munk raising an eyebrow. "But yeah, she wasn't much of a mother to either of us" he said smiling back.

"But why would she want a kitten with Macavity? And why would he want her, she was so much older than him? And Tugger said she was in a terrible shape when she showed up at the ball" said Bella, trying to understand how this was even possible.

"She didn't choose, Bella" said Munk. He was having a hard time looking at her as he spoke. "Macavity only likes power, he doesn't care who comes in his way as long as he can control them" he said and swallowed, a bit unsure about how much he could tell her. "She was probably in that bad shape because of Macavity" he said.

"So he forced himself on her?" said Bella shocked.

"He did" said Munk sadly. "She was probably just unlucky enough to be in his way and he took advantage of that. It is impossible to know why he would do that, he has changed a lot for the worse" Munk said looking away at nothing.

"You know him?" asked Bella.

"I did once. We were actually best friends when we were younger" said Munk and smiled weakly. "But now he has changed, and I would give my own life before I'd let him come near you again" he said and looked at Bella.

"I'm sorry" she said. "I didn't know if he even was real or just some threat you made up to keep us in line" said Bella a bit embarrassed.

"No we haven't seen him since the ball, he was probably there to make sure your mother hadn't ran away and to scare some respect into us Jellicles, but we fought him off then. He has probably been looking for you this whole time but now that he had found you I don't think it will be as calm anymore." said Munkustrap.

"Oh, I'm sorry" said Bella again, and she felt a pang in her heart that the other Jellicles had to deal with this because of her.

"Don't be" said Munkustrap. "You are as much a Jellicle as everyone else here and we will protect you the same" he said with a smile. "Now, how does it feel to have become a queen?" he said with a smile, trying to change the subject to something happier. Bella blushed.

"Oh, ehm, I don't know, I haven't thought about it" she said looking down but smiling.

"We thought it would be a couple of more weeks until then but I guess you were born a bit earlier than we thought" he said with a smile. "I am sure Pouncival will be sad to know that he isn't the oldest kitten anymore, or well he is now" said Munk laughing.

"Please don't tell anyone yet about my mother" said Bella. "Or father..." she added.

"Your secret is safe with me" said Munk.

They both looked up as Alonzo entered the den.

"Old Deuteronomy can't be found, we think he might have been kidnapped again by Macavity" he said.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you so so much for the lovely reviews! I have been going back and forth on wether to finish this story, but thanks to your reviews I decided to read it through from the beginning and I like it. It doesn't behave the way I expect it to, everytime I sit down and write I get surprised, but still, I like it. And I will try and finish it :)**

 **I don't own Cats.**

* * *

"Why would he take Old Deuteronomy?" asked Munkustrap confused.

"Who knows?" said Alonzo. "Maybe he just got angry and tried to hurt us" he said and glanced at Bella. Munk saw the look and suspected that Alonzo hadn't told them everything.

"Bella I have to go with Alonzo and find out more, can I ask Demeter to stay here with you? I won't tell her anything if you don't want me to." said Munk.

"It is ok, you can tell her if you want to" said Bella. She trusted Demeter and they were kind of family now. Munk smiled and went outside with Alonzo. Bella could hear him talk to Demeter with a low voice outside. She couldn't hear what he said but at one point she could hear Demeter gasp and she had a guess at what part. Demeter had never used Macavity to scare the kittens with and she always tensed up when he was mentioned by the others. 'Maybe it had been better if she didn't know?' thought Bella to herself.

* * *

Munkustrap had gone a bit away from his den with Alonzo to make sure that Bella didn't overheard anything.

"There is something you didn't tell me when Bella was there" Munk said.

"Yes." said Alonzo looking away. "I sent Skimble to Old Deuteronomy and when he arrived Macavity was there, he said we would get him back if we gave him Bella" said Alonzo looking back at Munkustrap with sad eyes.

"We will have to get him back in some other way" said Munk trying to sound confident.

"Of course" said Alonzo. "I can't believe he said he would do that to his own daughter" said Alonzo shaking his head.

"I don't know if he meant it or if he just wanted to scare us but whatever he would do to her it wouldn't be good." said Munk giving his old friend the benefit of a doubt at least about the worst of it.

"She is one of us now, I hope she knows that?" said Alonzo and hoped that Munk understood that he was speaking for the whole tribe.

"She knows" said Munk smiling. It had felt good to hear it from someone else. "We will have to talk to Mistoffelees and see if there is anything he can do" said Munk and they left.

* * *

Tugger had left Tumblebrutus at his den and had headed back to his own den. He sat down on his bed and couldn't get his thoughts together. He was worried about Bella. Even though he had to think about her differently now he still cared a lot about her and he regretted that he had made such a big scene about the kiss. The important issue was Macavity and it had been wrong of him to focus on such a trivial thing as his own feelings. But there was something leading his thoughts back to it anyway. He couldn't put his finger on it but there was something about the conversation that didn't add up and then he realised. 'Why didn't Bella say that it was true?' he thought. She had just said that she couldn't tell him. It was a weird thing to say. 'Was there something else she was hiding?' he thought.

He found that he had stood up and was pacing back and forth in his den. He couldn't relax. 'I might just make myself useful against Macavity' he thought and decided to put the thoughts about Bella's secret to the side and focus on her safety.

He could see that there was already a lot more of the cats up and that guards had been put around the junkyard. It felt weird to have such a safe and secure place having to be guarded like that. Macavity had attacked alone, but that was probably because he had assumed Bella would only be accompanied with another kitten. 'Or just accompanied with a kitten' he rephrased and realised that he hadn't thought more about the fact that Bella was now actually a queen. He felt his panic about kissing a kitten wash away a bit, only to hit him with full force as he remembered they were siblings. The Jellicle cats weren't too concerned with mating distant relatives but siblings were too close and he felt a bit cheated by his own body to feel this way towards Bella. 'But she had felt something too, why would she kiss you otherwise?' said his inner voice and Tugger shook his head. This was the kind of thoughts he had tried to push away by getting out here.

Tugger could see his older brother hurry away with Alonzo and decided to go after them to show them that he had put the anger from earlier behind him and that he was willing to help. They were moving fast and he didn't catch up with them until they stopped outside a den. In which Tugger knew Mistoffelees lived, he wondered what they would want from the conjuring cat.

"Munk!" he said before they entered. "I know you said I should stay in my den but I want to help" he said.

"Will you be able to control yourself and not let the anger take over?" Munk answered looking stern.

"I promise, it is already gone, I will apologise to Bella as well" he said and Munk raised an eyebrow. He wasn't used to his brother apologising about anything.

"She will be pleased to hear that" he said instead. "Something has happened, I'll explain to you both" said Munk and opened the door to Mistoffelees den.

Mistoffelees immediately volunteered to try and conjure Old Deuteronomy back. He knew he had the power to do it last year at the ball when he had Tugger's support and now he would have both Munk and Alonzo there believing in him as well. Tugger could see Misto smiling at them, letting his eyes rest a little longer on him.

"I will do my best, _trust me_ " he said and nodded. With a 'pop' he disappeared.

Tugger panicked for a second. The last time Misto performed this trick he hadn't disappeared, he had made Old Deuteronomy appear from under a blanket. Tugger looked up at Munk and Alonzo and could see the confusion in their eyes as well.

"I..I didn't think he would go" said Tugger. "Not now, I thought we would plan this out together!" he said and could hear the panic rising in his voice.

"I thought so too!" said Munkustrap trying to take in what it meant to have another of the Jellicles disappearing off to Macavity. Alonzo broke in.

"Misto knows what he is doing, we will have to trust him on this" he said looking them both in the eyes trying to project calmness. Munk snapped back into his role as the protector, but he had been both glad and impressed at Alonzo's reaction. He certainly had a second in command that he could count on.

"Thank you Alonzo, you are of course right" he said. "Misto depends on our support and I think especially on yours Tugger, after the last ball, you have a special connection" he said and smiled at his brother. "What do we do to best show him we believe in him?" he said to Tugger. Tugger got a bit taken back by the responsibility, he had said he wanted to help but he hadn't planned on coming up with suggestions, he had just wanted to help the others.

"I am not sure" he said looking down. He felt like he was a kitten again.

"What made you start singing for him at the ball?" asked Munk.

"I don't know, I just kind of felt like I believed in him being the one to bring father back and I improvised" he said and shrugged his shoulders.

"That's what you do best" said Munk with a grin. "Doing without too much thinking, I realise now that it is not just a bad habit of yours" he said and put his paw on Tugger's shoulder. Tugger looked up at him and smiled from the compliment.

"Ok" he said. "You two make sure everybody comes out to the clearing and I will make sure to get their attention" he said with a grin feeling his confidence returning.

* * *

When everybody was gathered in the main clearing and no sign of Mistoffelees returning was seen, Tugger decided to make his entrance.

"You ought to ask, Magical Mister Mistoffelees, the original conjuring cat, there could be no doubt about that" he started. He knew most of the cats probably just had heard about their leader being taken and he could see them starting to look for Misto. He felt that he needed them not only to _rely_ on the conjuring cat to bring him back but to really _believe_ he could do it again. He improvised some new lyrics to remind them that what Misto had done at the last ball was something spectacular even for a conjuring cat and even though there never was anyone as clever as him, it would take even more from him to outwit Macavity a second time.

He could see that reminding the others about Mistoffelees fantastic deed had worked and when he started singing "And we all say.." all the other cats joined in. But even though he had them all believing in Misto he could feel himself doubting. The strong feeling he had last ball wasn't there and he wasn't so sure Misto would show up like he had last time. Tugger built up the song but when the time came, Misto didn't. Tugger looked around, feeling his confidence lowering and seeing the other cats looking around hoping. He locked eyes with Bella and he knew she understood his worries. The song had stopped in the middle and all cats looked at each other confused, Tugger could feel himself starting to sweat. 'Had he let his conjuring friend down this time?' he thought. 'Was he in the claws of Macavity now because Tugger had doubted?'. The panic of what could happen to Misto threatened to take over and he was glad that it only seemed like Bella was the one that really understood how bad things were. He could see her standing up and open her mouth.

"Oh well, I never was there ever, a cat as clever as Magical Mister Mistoffelees" she sang. She had lowered the tempo letting her unique voice exploring something new in it. All cats had turned their eyes to her and she could see that Tugger relaxed. For some reason it was clear to her that she had to make him believe it, that all the other cats didn't matter as long as Tugger believed Misto could do it. Bella decided to improvise a dance to the song and her body acted on instinct. When she knew she had everyone's attention she danced over to Tugger, lending him a paw, asking him to dance with her. Whatever happened earlier didn't matter, all that mattered was there and now. And even though she wasn't close with Mistoffelees, she felt the connection through Tugger.

Tugger took her paw and let himself be led out to the centre. It didn't feel weird that it was the queen that conducted the dance and him following, it felt safe. Like everything would work out if he just surrendered into her arms. He looked into her eyes and felt his knees going weak, she was more beautiful than ever, and before he could think about how inappropriate it was he had kissed her. He heard everyone gasp and for a second he could feel her kissing him back before a loud 'pop' made them all turn their heads.

It was Misto that had returned, and with him was Old Deuteronomy. They were both badly injured.


	16. Chapter 16

**So here's the next chapter already, oh my god, yay! Right? I normally write a bit on the next chapter before I put these out but I haven't this time. I might have taken another glass of wine and thought 'it'll be fun'. Do tell me if I was wrong!**

 **Also, I forgot to beg for reviews last time being so overwhelmed about the ones I got. Please review if you want to, or send me a pm, I will always answer :)**

 **I don't own Cats.**

* * *

Tugger and Bella let go of each other immediately and ran over to the two injured cats. Bella went to Old Deuteronomy and Tugger fell down beside Mistoffelees.

Tugger saw that his friend was conscious and put his paws on either side of his face. "Are you ok?" he asked.

"He's gone Tugger" said Misto with a weak voice. "Forever" he added before he fell unconscious.

Bella didn't know what to do or think. She needed her old caretaker more than ever but he hadn't woken up. She tried to shake him and when it didn't work she pounded her paws into his chest. Suddenly she felt a tight grip around her shoulders and she was pulled away. Munkustrap held her firmly and said something to her but she couldn't hear what it was. Old Deuteronomy couldn't be dead. He was her parent, in all ways that mattered he was the one that had been her father. She could see Jenny rushing forward to him and sending out orders for the others as Munk lifted her away.

She kicked and screamed and Munk almost lost grip of her but he had to take her away from there. Munk couldn't get any contact with Bella, he heard Jenny announcing that she had found a pulse and breathed out, but Bella heard nothing. Munkustrap hurried over to his den and saw Demeter moving towards Misto with a weird look on her face. He hoped that the others could help her this time. He lay down the screaming and kicking Bella on the bed and had to sit down over her legs, holding her paws to keep her from hurting him. He lowered his face in front of Bellas and tried to talk to her. When that didn't work he took a deep breath and blew all the air out into her face and suddenly she went still and watched his face in horror. He smiled. It was an old trick that Jenny had used on him when he panicked once as a kitten.

"He is not dead" he said and felt himself panting from the tough effort of carrying and holding down his little sister.

"But Misto said.." was all Bella could get out.

"Jenny found his pulse, hopefully she will be able to save him. Misto must have thought the worst" said Munkustrap. "Or maybe..." he said but shook his head. It couldn't be true. Misto was no fighter, he used his magic to help the tribe but he didn't fight. He was rather small and the gentlest tom of all, he could never, 'Could he?' Munk thought. He looked up as Demeter entered the den.

"It's Macavity!" she said with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Is he here?" said Munk and raised up, making himself prepared for fight. Demeter shook her head.

"No, Misto… I...I felt something and.. Misto killed him" she said and put her paws in front of her mouth like she couldn't believe what she had just said. Munks eyes widened and then he pulled Demeter close into a quick embrace before he looked her in the eyes. His eyes fluttered over to Bella and then back to Demeter again. She swallowed. "Take care of Bella" she said trying to keep her voice steady. "I will go and find out how Misto and your father is" she stroked his chin before she turned around and left. Munk felt like he wasn't a good enough support to either her or Bella but he knew she was right, he had to stay with Bella for now and try.

* * *

Munkustrap couldn't really grasp the fact that there was no more Macavity. No more fights, no more threats, no more insecurity. 'No more hope' he thought to himself. He had always hoped that his old friend would change. That Munk would be given the chance to forgive him and possibly welcome him back to the tribe again. He tried to shake the feeling, but he actually mourned his friend. Not the cat he had become but the loss of his friend even though that loss happened years ago. It was just now that Munkustrap had to let go. He looked down at Bella who he was holding in his arms. She had lost her father. Even though he never acted like it, he was still that. He smiled weakly as he realised that his own mixed feelings about Macavity's death better helped him understand that Bella might be conflicted too.

"I will miss him" he said and saw Bella's eyes look up at him in surprise. "Not the cat he was but the friend I lost many years ago." he explained and Bella relaxed. "He was my best friend.." he whispered and to his surprise he felt a tear running down his face.

"I think I will miss him too" said Bella weakly and Munk looked at her wiping away the tear. "Not the cat he was now, not even the cat he used to be, but the cat he should have been" she said and Munk started crying again. He hugged her closer. "I miss that I never had a father" she said and started to cry as well.

"I know" said Munk and stroke his paw down her back. They sat together comforting each other for a long time. Munkustrap thought that it must have been destined that the two of them should meet the news of Macavity's death together. He could never have admitted his feelings to someone else. "I love you Bella" he said and and cleared his throat. "We will all be the family you've lost" he said and hugged her even closer before letting her go.

"I love you too" said Bella and smiled through the tears. She composed herself a little, but dived back in for another hug. "I will be your friend as well" she whispered in his ear and Munk smiled widely. 'How could there be so much love in such a horrible moment?' he thought.

"Let's go see how Jenny is doing" he said as the thought of their loss reminded him of the injured.

* * *

When Munkustrap and Bella entered Jenny's den they saw Old Deuteronomy sit up in a bed, looking tired but well. Munkustrap only stayed long enough to make sure that everything was okey before he decided to find Mistoffelees, he needed to know what had happened.

Bella climbed up into the bed and nuzzled Old Deuteronomy. He pulled her into a hug.

"Are you ok Iz?" he asked. He had learned about her and Macavity from Misto and from the Hidden Paw himself and he hoped that Bella didn't know it all.

"You were the one who got kidnapped and came back unconscious, I should ask you!" said Bella upset.

"Oh I am fine, Misto looked after me the whole time and Jenny has been taking excellent care of me here" he said smiling, but the wrinkle between his eyes stayed. He knew he shouldn't keep secrets from Bella, even though he wanted to protect her. "I know about you and Macavity, and you will always be our family-" he started but got cut off by Bella.

"I know" she said looking into his eyes. "Munk and I talked, he knows about everything...we talked about Macavity too" she said and Old Deuteronomy was so proud over his son for helping Bella. "You are my parent more than Macavity ever was and Munk is my big brother" she said and smiled. Old Deuteronomy just hugged Bella. He couldn't really take it all in. He had wished so much that Bella would let him be her parent and the other Jellicles be her family. Last time they parted he had felt like she wasn't completely convinced they all actually loved her and he had decided that he needed to come back much sooner than he had said.

"I love you Iz" he managed to get out and they stayed like that for a while. Old Deuteronomy felt that Bella was the one comforting him again. He decided that he needed to be the parent again for a while. "So Munk and you have been talking, how has everything worked out with Tugger? No problem?" he said and felt Bella stiffen in his arms. She looked up at him blushing.

"Ehm.." said Bella and wondered where to start.

"So let me get this right" said Old Deuteronomy confused and amused. "You kissed Tugger, he found out that Grizabella is your mother, you _didn't_ tell him my secret, he still kisses you and that seems to be the reason Mistoffelees managed to save me? Did I miss something?" he chuckled at the mess.

"Pretty much..." mumbled Bella looking uncomfortable

"Well it seems there is no delaying my little talk with Tugger" he kept on laughing. "Would it be awkward to ask you to send him in for me?" he asked carefully.

"It's okey, I'll get him" said Bella. She stopped and went back to Old Deuteronomy and hugged him again. "I thought I lost you" she said and he held her tighter.

"I will always be there for you, whenever you need me" he said and smiled.

* * *

Munkustrap had sought out Mistoffelees who was not in as good a state as his father but alive and awake. He had bandages and was propped up with several cushions in the bed. He didn't look at Munk when he entered the room.

"How are you feeling?" said Munk trying to get the other tom to look at him.

"I'm fine" said Misto but didn't look back.

"I don't know where to start to thank you for saving Old Deuteronomy again, you are a remarkable cat" he said and decided to wait a bit with asking about Macavity.

"It was all Bella, she is the one you should thank" said Misto and the piercing look he gave Munk was such a contrast that Munk almost backed.

"Bella?" he asked confused.

"I don't know what she did to Tugger but I could hear her through his voice and Macavity could too" he said and looked like he debated on whether to continue. Munk let him take his time. "Macavity snapped, he started screaming about what he had done to..w-what he would do.." said Misto and looked away fighting back tears.

"What happened next?" asked Munk but he was afraid of the answer.

"He started to build up his magic through his rage and I felt it was so much stronger than it had ever been. I shielded myself in front of Old Deuteronomy and just tried to work up as much magic of my own that I could" said Misto. His speak was forced, like he tried to get it all out before it slipped away. "I knew I wasn't going to make it, I just had to protect Old Deuteronomy the best I could. Then suddenly he charged at me with his magic and I could see the flames of rage coming at me and let go of all I had built up. I knew it wasn't much but I hoped..I hoped Munk" he said and looked Munk straight in the eyes. "And then I felt it, an enormous sparkle inside me, Bella was pushing it through Tugger. I didn't know any cat could build up so much energy, so much..love?" he said and looked confused. As if he just realised what the energy actually contained. "And then it clashed with Macavity's magic and.." he finished looking frightened. He started to shiver.

"The rest is not important Misto" said Munk and stepped closer so that he could pull the other tom into an embrace. "You did what you had to" he said and knew that all other Jellicles would forgive him in an instant, he only hoped Misto could forgive himself. He held the tuxedo tom in his arms until he could feel him falling asleep from exhaustion. He pulled away the extra cushions and laid him down on the bed to rest.

* * *

Tugger saw Bella come towards him from Old Deuteronomy's room. He hadn't spoken to her since they broke the kiss and he had only heard that his father was okey, but hadn't seen him. Tugger remembered Bella freaking out and getting carried away by Munk. She looked okey now, a bit tired, but calmer.

"Bella are you ok?" he asked not knowing if he should pull her in for a hug or not. He ended up with one paw around his other arm feeling uneasy. He had kissed her. He knew he shouldn't have but he still had done it. He felt embarrassed that he couldn't control himself around her even though he knew they were brothers and sisters. The thought about that only should have stopped him, but it didn't. And when he felt Misto's desperation it just felt natural to send the strongest of love that he could, just like he had done during the last ball. And the answer was Bella. No matter what he tried to tell himself, Bella was the one that made him feel like that.

"I'm fine" she said and Tugger got surprised that she actually looked fine, like she already had dealt with everything happening and moved on. "Old Deuteronomy wants to talk to you" she said casually.

"Bella I-" Tugger started. He needed to say something about what had happened.

"Not now Tugger, let's talk later if you still want to" she said and walked over to the others. Tugger was lost for words. 'How could she be so calm?' he thought. She had just been through so much, even if the kiss was just a small thing that just marked how much bigger impact the rest should've had. 'Didn't she care at all?' he thought. He felt silly about coming back to the kiss, but it had been a major thing in his life, and he couldn't understand how Bella could just move on. He shook his head and made for Old Deuteronomy's room. 'She said we could talk later if I still wanted to, let's do that' he thought.

Bella looked over her shoulder to see Tugger going into Old Deuteronomy's room. She had tried to act casually so that she wouldn't give anything away but she hoped that Tugger would take her up on her offer to talk later. 'Maybe he wants nothing to do with me after that?' she thought and shrugged her shoulders. He had left her once because she was too annoying, he might as well leave again if it all got too tough. 'Why wouldn't he? she thought. She had lied to him and even left him thinking she made him kiss his sister. 'But he kissed you back that time, and he kissed you again' her inner voice argued, but she reminded it that he had also run away once and might as well do that again.

Bella ignored the look she got from Tumblebrutus when she joined the others and went over to the queen kittens instead. She knew it was mean to just shut him out but she had to trust him not telling the others what he knew and she couldn't tell him everything anyway. The queen kittens positively drenched her in questions about the kiss. They had already forgotten all the other action and focused on what was their biggest interest; Tugger. And mainly, that he had kissed another kitten. Bella could see the older cats sharpen their ears as well at the question. They had seen that Munkustrap hadn't done anything about it and they sensed there was something they didn't know about. Bella swallowed.

"I'm not a kitten anymore" she said and blushed. She didn't feel like the oldest of them at all.

"So you are a queen then?" said Etcetera raising her eyebrows. "Why haven't you told us?" she demanded.

"I just… I just found out" stuttered Bella. "I didn't know.." she said apologetically and the other queen kittens let it go immediately.

"Tell us about the kiss! Was it amazing? Did he use his tongue? Do you love him?" the questions hailed down on Bella and she blushed but tried to answer them all vaguely.

"Who cares? He is her brother did you know that?" Bella looked at Tumble with panic in her eyes. Tumble looked embarrassed. He didn't mean to say anything but when Bella blushed about the kiss he felt jealousy flash over him and he just blurted it out, he regretted it immediately.

"He is not! You are just jealous because you hoped to kiss her first!" Etcetera bit back and Bella could have kissed her. Everyone stared at Tumble who just turned away and left, it looked like he had tears in his eyes. Bella wanted to follow him. She still liked him as a friend and he had done nothing wrong, he just was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She decided not to, eventually he would know the truth anyway.

The kittens kept asking questions about the kiss and also about what made her dance and sing to help Misto. Even the tom kittens moved in closer as well. The older cats had moved on long ago and Bella felt herself basking in the attention. Se dramatically explained what had happened and loved to put on a show again. All the kittens watched as she danced and sung her way through it, making small exaggerations to fit the expectations of the others.

* * *

Tugger just couldn't stay any longer. He hadn't said a word through Old Deuteronomy's story and when he finished the feeling just overwhelmed him, he had to get out of there. So Tugger left. It was instinct taking over and he was out of the room before he had even thought about what he did. He didn't even cast a glance over at the others before he went out of the junkyard an started to run. He didn't see Bella watch him leave. At the moment he couldn't even think about Bella. Oh how he would regret it.


	17. Chapter 17

**I am sorry this has taken some time to get out, but I feel like I am back on track again, let me know if I have missed something. I am usually writing a story very quickly and held together but this has left me struggling and I have been writing other stuff to help with the block. I try to go back and read what I have written but it is possible that I am missing some things so please let me know!**

 **I'd like to send a big thank you to QueenOfTheStorms for the lovely review, it really made my day (and a couple of more days as well).**

 **Today Cats is closing on Broadway and I am so glad I was able to see it last week. A sad day in a way but Cats is now and forever ;)**

 **Please review or send me a pm, I don't own Cats though ;)**

* * *

Bella felt like running after Tugger at first, but he didn't even look at her and she did nothing to follow. Almost immediately she got angry, he would just leave her when she had asked him to come talk to her. She wanted to fix things but he just wanted to run away. 'Had this meant nothing to him?' she thought and the anger eased to leave room for shame. 'Of course it meant nothing to him' she realised. She had kissed him, he had kissed her back but that was most likely just a reflex since he reacted so badly afterwards. He had kissed her again but that could just be because they both felt it was helping Mistoffelees.

She was regretting that first kiss in so many ways. 'Why did I have to kiss him?' she asked herself. She had assumed that he would want those kind of things but she had forgotten that she was a kitten. That was what had spoiled everything in the first place. At the time she had just wanted to keep him with her a little longer but she hadn't really thought about why. The kiss had been really good but all she could think of was the reaction afterwards. But now she started to wonder why she had kissed him at all. Sure she wanted him to stay with her, and she felt safe and happy when he was around. The feeling when he held her in his arms made her smile just thinking about it. 'But I don't want anything else, do I?' she thought confused. She shrugged her shoulders. Whatever she had wanted then she was sure she didn't want now. He had left her twice, probably because he didn't want her, and if he did, well, he had left her so why would she want him? Bella felt the bitter feelings settle down in her, this was how she felt about it and any other feelings battling for attention would just have to be pushed aside. 'Let's hope he stays away' she thought and turned back to the other kittens.

* * *

Tugger didn't think. His head was filled with thoughts but he didn't think. It was like they were all just bouncing around his head not staying in one place long enough to be thought about. He flipped an imaginary table in frustration.

"Hey, watch what you do!" Tugger heard an offended voice say. He stopped and saw that he had almost punched Tumblebrutus waving his arms around like that.

"Piss off!" said Tugger walking past him, still not thinking.

"What did I do this time?" Tumble bit back giving Tugger a light shove in the back. Tugger almost fell forward but recovered only to pounce on Tumble pinning him to the ground. "What?" said Tumble when Tugger didn't speak. He sounded more confident than he actually was.

"Nothing" said Tugger, looking away. He let Tumble go and stood up. Tumble brushed himself off and stood up as well. He looked hesitant at Tugger.

"Why did you kiss Bella?" he asked trying to keep his voice steady but he had been really hurt that the flirty tom had went for the kitten he liked when he could have anyone.

"I..." Tugger started. He just realised what else he had run away from. "I think I eh..like her?" he said changing his mind last minute about which l-word to use. 'Love though, really?' he thought.

"But she's your sister! Can't you let me have my first kiss without ruining everything!?" Tumble blurted out and regretted taking it out on Tugger. It was Bella that had kissed him first he reminded himself.

"She's not though" said Tugger pulling his paws up to his face and shaking his head. He was starting to realise what mess he had created by running away. Surely he had hurt Old Deuteronomy's feelings. His father or not he had taken care of him all his life. He had lied, but he had still been as much a father as one could wish for. And Bella. Tugger felt his stomach cringe when he realised that Bella must have known about his mother. That was why she said she couldn't tell him, it wasn't her secret to reveal and she had kept it even though it would have been easier for her to just tell.

"Tugger?" said Tumble pulling Tugger back to the present. "What do you mean she is not?" he asked looking confused.

"Grizabella was not my mother, she just brought me here when my mother died" he explained quickly. "I have to go" he said and left the tom kitten confused. He had to get back. He had to talk to Bella, and he had to talk to Old Deuteronomy. He suspected it was for his sake that Bella had kept the secret even though it nearly destroyed everything.

Tugger felt like an idiot. He had just been so angry that the others had lied to him. Even his own dad. But he had explained it was because Grizabella had asked him and now that he had some time to calm down he realised that he really wasn't that angry. Grizabella had never been his mother anyway, and the lie didn't change the fact that his mother had died and even if they had told him the truth he would never have known his mother.

But the nagging thought of the comfort he had missed not knowing his mother hadn't abandoned him lingered. Still it had been childish of him to just run away. Munk had told him last time he came after him that he always did that and then he had felt like it wasn't true, but now it seemed that Munk had been more right than Tugger had wanted to admit.

He couldn't have been away more than a few hours when he returned but he had a feeling both Old Deuteronomy and Bella would have been hurt that he left, and not about how long he stayed away. Tugger felt like a pollicle returning with his tail between his legs. He kind of sneaked back into the junkyard, but he was a cat that usually got noticed and this was not an exception.

"Tugger!" he didn't know which kitten that shouted his name but they all came running towards him. Well almost all of them, he could see Bella lingering on with some of the tom kittens. It seemed like she had kept them entertained and she only gave him a quick look before she turned around and focused on the kittens that were left. Tugger thought he saw the anger in her eyes.

"Kittens, relax" said Tugger putting up his paws.

"What happened Tugger? You just ran away, did something bad happen?" they asked and Tugger couldn't really focus on who said what. He just wanted to go over to Bella.

"Nothing important" he said and winced at his own words, glad that neither Bella or his dad had heard them. "I need to talk to Bella" he said and walked past them.

"Ooooooh!" chorused the kittens and he rolled his eyes and shook his head and went over to Bella who still stood with his back to him.

"Bella, can I speak with you?" he said stopping behind her and resisting to put a paw on her shoulder.

"No" she said without turning. Tugger could feel the queen kittens gasping for air behind him and the tom kittens eyes raising up in surprise, looking back and forth between him and Bella.

"Bella come on, just… let me explain" he begged but still resisting to touch her, he could feel the tension in the air.

"Go talk to your dad" said Bella clenching her jaws together and pushing back tears that threatened to come out. Tugger's heart sank. He had hoped that he at least would get a chance to explain. He sighed. She was probably just angry with him he told himself, he could always go see Old Deuteronomy first and hope that she would come around.

* * *

He turned around and walked with heavy steps towards the den where his dad stayed. Bella let her shoulders relax when she heard that he left. She had been more tensed than she thought and hoped that the others hadn't seen that. She looked at the tom kittens that were left and they all stared at her, some with their mouths open. She turned around and looked towards the queen kittens. They had just collected themself and pounced on her.

"Did you say no to The Rum Tum Tugger? Are you insane!?" One or maybe two of the kittens asked her as she stumbled backwards from the attack. Bella quickly collected herself and smirked.

"He only wants what he can't have" she said and blinked before returning to the tom kittens. She could see that they looked at her differently now. Not many cats could turn down Tugger and especially not the queens. Pouncival moved forward and stretched out his paw asking her for a dance. It didn't matter what the truth was, Bella was just glad that she hadn't cried. She was so angry with Tugger that she was shaking but dancing and singing and pretending everything had worked out as she planned helped.

* * *

Tugger had been welcomed back with open arms when he entered the den to Old Deuteronomy. He had been afraid that his father would be angry with him, but he had been forgiven even before he had apologised. They would be father and son no matter what. Tugger started feeling like he could probably make Bella come around if his father was this understanding and he relaxed at the thought. But the next sentence got him tense again.

"Have you talked to Iz, I mean Bella yet?" asked Old Deuteronomy. Tugger wasn't sure how much he knew and stood silent as he was thinking about where to start. Old Deuteronomy held back a smile as he saw Tugger struggle with the words.

"No" he concluded his thoughts. "Ehm, she kind of don't want to" he said embarrassed and looked away.

"What did you do?" said Old Deuteronomy with a sigh. He had seen his son screw up a little too often to think that he was not the one responsible for that.

"I don't want to talk about it" said Tugger bitterly. He knew it was his fault in many ways but he wasn't thrilled about admitting it.

"What is it with you two? Stubborn bloody kittens both of you.." Old Deuteronomy muttered. Tugger's jaw dropped. He wasn't used to his father losing his temper like that.

"It's complicated" Tugger answered when he had collected himself a bit.

"Don't make it more complicated than it is" said Old Deuteronomy with a knowing look and Tugger nodded.

Tugger went back out again and saw how carefully Bella avoided his look. The other kittens tensed and waited for the confrontation. But Tugger just sighed and started walking in another direction. He was both relieved and disappointed that they didn't follow him. 'I need to talk to Bomba' he thought.

* * *

Bella could feel everyone around her tense as Tugger came out, but he didn't come over to her and she relaxed again. She wasn't ready to deal with him yet. She was afraid that she would just start crying and she wasn't sad, she was angry she told herself. To her surprise all the kittens stayed with her instead of following Tugger. She felt the corner of her mouth twitch a little. 'I don't need Tugger, I can have his fan club instead' she thought.


	18. Chapter 18

**So here's a little longer passage into what will be the last chapter of this story, chapter 19. There will be an epilogue as well I think. Hopefully you like it, I wrote most of it during the holiday vacation I had and I hope I can wrap this up nicely :)**

 **Thank you so, so, so much to all who reads this and a special thank you to Ella Clements for your review, I am super happy you took your time!**

 **I don't own Cats, I own tortoises.**

* * *

The last week had been horrible. Tugger had felt like wreck and had hung out only with Bomba. Bella had not talked to him at all, just ignoring him and looking like she wasn't missing the contact at all. He had kind of hoped that she would seek him out during the night like she had used to do earlier but of course that hadn't happen. He let out another sigh and Bomba rolled her eyes. She was getting a bit tired of his moaning and whining. They had not done anything but talking or sitting silently together and she was getting sick of it. It was all very clear to her. Tugger had obviously fallen for Bella and she was pretty sure Bella felt the same even if she didn't want to admit it. They were both too stubborn to fix it. 'Well at least Bella was' thought Bomba. She couldn't really see the same determination in her friend. He always got what he wanted and no one could really turn The Rum Tum Tugger down. Even though he wasn't himself she still sat there with him when she'd rather been doing something else. 'Like Pouncival' she thought with a grin. The tom kitten had turned a tom two days ago and she knew he was eager to explore what that meant. He had glanced over at her and Tugger regularly and when he saw that they still were together he had focused on Bella. Who seemed very much uninterested in anything else than ignoring Tugger. Bomba sighed. Something needed to be done.

"Yeah I'm done hanging out with you moping" she said and Tugger looked up surprised. "I'm getting myself a date tonight, and you should too" she said with a grin and was pleased to see something flash in Tugger's eyes when she left. 'Hopefully that will get him on his feet' she thought. Bomba walked past the kittens and raised her eyebrow as she looked Pouncival in the eyes. The young tom blushed but made up an excuse and followed her without a word being spoken.

'She is probably right' thought Tugger and stood up. He decided to just walk over to Bella and demand that they talked. He felt quite confident when he raised and started moving over. When he was closing in he heard Bella say something to the other kittens that he couldn't hear and without looking towards him she walked away from the group before he could stop her. Tugger froze, feeling his confidence falter again. He was left alone with the kittens and for once in his life he had no idea how to entertain a fan club.

* * *

Bella saw Bomba trailing off with Pouncival and she panicked for a second thinking that Tugger would come over. She didn't dare to turn his way and look but she could kind of feel the other kittens looking up towards him.

"I need to talk to Misto" she said to Tumble who was closest. He looked surprised, they hadn't talked about what happened but when he came back to the junkyard no one seemed to mind that he just joined the others and acted like nothing had happened. He had hoped Bella would talk to him but she had ignored him. Not like she had with Tugger, but Tumble hadn't really tried to talk to her and she had not made an effort either.

"Oh okey" he stuttered but she didn't really looked at him when she spoke and she was already going when he thought about saying something more. 'It's always her way, she gets what she wants and we grab what's left' he thought but he had a hard time staying mad at her. That was what made her both amazing and annoying.

Bella had grabbed the first idea that sprang to her mind. She had been meaning to go talk to Mistoffelees but he hadn't been fully healed yet even though he was much better. But she knew he was well enough to talk and she rather had that conversation than the one with Tugger she reasoned.

"Hello Jenny I am here to see Misto if that's alright?" Bella asked carefully as she entered the den.

"Of course that's alright dear, he has asked for you as well but I told him it could wait until he was better, but I think he is well enough for a little chat today, come on in" said Jenny and Bella felt a bit bad that she hadn't been back to see Jenny too much since she moved out. She really cared about them all. "Misto, Bella is here to see you if you feel alright for a visit?" Jenny asked through the door before Bella entered. He must have nodded since Bella didn't hear an answer but was let into the room anyway.

"Hello" said Bella nervously looking over at the tom sitting up in the bed. "Are you alright?" she remembered to ask.

"I am so glad to see you Bella" said Mistoffelees and smiled. "I am well enough to talk, I will soon be out of here" he said before he took a deep breath. "I wanted to thank you for saving my life" he said and Bella looked up at him with surprise.

"I eh..I just..I should thank you, you saved my father!" she blurted out and felt panic wash over her at the words. "I mean-" she continued quickly. "Old Deuteronomy, I eh, my father was..." Bella couldn't hold back the tears anymore. It was like she had never cried before in her life. 'How could I say that?' she thought. Even though Macavity hadn't acted as her father he had still been that, and Misto was the one that had killed him. She hadn't thought about that at all before the words came out of her mouth. She didn't know if she should be angry or sad or happy. She realised that one of them had to be gone for the other to still be here, but it was still overwhelming that she couldn't have both. She thought about the talk she had with Munk and reminded herself to go see him afterwards, he would understand.

"Please Bella, come here" she heard Misto plead from the bed. She had no idea how long he had been trying to talk to her. She walked over and he made some room next to him on the bed so she could sit there. Bella crawled up and buried her face into Misto's chest. "It's ok" he said and stroke his paw down her back. He let her cry like that until he could hear her breathing slowing down a bit. "Bella I am so sorry it had to go down that way. I shouldn't have said it like that either. I am glad you saved my life, and Old Deuteronomy's, but you have every right to be sad that your father is gone. I just.." Misto said and swallowed. He had wanted to speak with Bella ever since he came back but now he couldn't find the words. Everyone had been happy and proud of him for taking down Macavity but Bella had actually lost her father. The look he had seen in her eyes was one he had only seen in one other cats. "Have you talked with Munkustrap?" he asked carefully.

"It's okey Misto" she said taking a deep breath and turning her face up to look at him. "I've talked to Munk, but I think I need to see him again, everything is just so confusing" she said and blinked back a few more stubborn tears.

"I know" said Misto and pulled her into a hug. They hadn't been too close earlier but it was like a band had grown between them without them spending time together. "Can I ask you something?" he said. Bella nodded. "What happened back here when I was gone? I just felt all that energy you builded up and sent through Tugger, how did you do that?" he asked carefully but curiously.

"I don't know" said Bella frowning her eyebrows. "I don't know what it was, or how it happened, or why I knew Tugger needed it" she said looking at him like she hoped he had an answer.

"But how did you send it through Tugger?" Misto asked even though he felt like he was pushing her.

"I don't know, I just.. I felt him doubting and for some reason that didn't scare me like it did him. I could just feel that if I made him believe in you again he would make it, and he did." she said and looked away, not happy about having to think about Tugger doing good things, she was trying to stay mad at him.

"How did you make him believe?" asked Misto pushing the limit farther.

"I changed the song a bit, I sang it in my own way and danced and made him focus on me instead of being scared, and then he kissed-" she interrupted herself and blushed.

"He kissed you?" asked Misto surprised. "That must have been when I charged, it was so powerful Bella, I didn't know a cat could build up so much love" he said and startled when Bella sat up and stared at him.

"Love!?" she hissed at him and raised up beside the bed. "Whatever you felt wasn't love!" she almost shouted at him before she turned around and fled out from the den.

* * *

Tugger gave up on the fan club pretty soon. He was in no mood to entertain them and they were just confused and asked him a lot of questions. He figured he might as well leave them that way until Bella came back and could take care of it. The thought was not pleasing. 'I have to get a grip of myself' he thought and shook his head. He would go and see Munk. They hadn't talked much since he learned they weren't really brothers. Old Deuteronomy had told Munkustrap and they had confirmed they both knew, but that was pretty much it. It explained why they were so different but since they had grown up together it still meant they had and would keep on acting like brothers.

Tugger found him on one of his look out posts with Alonzo.

"You were right" Tugger muttered to his brother.

"Alonzo, you heard that too right?" said Munk in surprise. "Because I am not certain that it actually happened" he went on with sarcasm.

"Haha very funny" said Tugger and rolled his eyes.

"Alonzo, do you mind? I want to talk to my brother for a bit" said Munk and Alonzo nodded and left with a curious look at Tugger. "Okey, I know I am right, because I almost always are" said Munk in an amused tone. "But what about this time?" he continued with a look that was a bit more inviting.

"Running away" said Tugger with his jaws clenched together. He had a hard time remembering why it was a good idea talking to his brother about this.

"I'll admit that the first time it was childish of you but this time we barely recognized you were gone before you came back, dad forgave you right away didn't he?" said Munk trying to understand what the big problem was. He had had a tough week as well coping with the loss of his old friend and he admitted that he wasn't really up to date with the rest of the tribe.

"Yeah dad did..." said Tugger trailing off and studying the back of his paw closely.

"Oh, but Bella didn't?" asked Munk when he realised. He hadn't been talking to either of them that much, he had been occupied with his own thoughts and felt a bit ashamed that he hadn't taken his time. Old Deuteronomy would soon leave again and he would have to step in and take a bit more responsibility for Bella when he did.

"No she didn't" said Tugger frowning his eyebrows.

"She'll come around" he said reassuringly but then remembered the kiss that they had shared in front of everybody. "Ehm, how do you feel about her?" he asked carefully but he had to admit he was curious. Tugger looked up at him and squinted his eyes.

"I like her" he said and Munk got surprised about how sincere he sounded. 'Could it really be that his brother was falling for Bella?' Munk thought.

"Okey, ehm, does she know?" he asked instead.

"No, she doesn't want to talk to me" said Tugger with a sigh and looked away.

"Tugger? She'll come around, ok?" said Munk hoping he was right. "Give her some time." he said.

"You really think she will?" said Tugger looking back up. 'He is actually serious' Munk realised in surprise.

"Of course!" he said sounding maybe a bit too certain about himself. "I'm sure that she would let you at least talk to her soon enough" he corrected himself.

"I really hope so" said Tugger.

"But let her come to you, try not to rush it, she is even more stubborn than you when she sets her mind to it." Munk said smiling at the thought and saw that a small smile was on Tuggers lips as well.

"Thank you" said Tugger before he nuzzled his brother and then left.

"Did that really happen?" Munkustrap asked no one and shook his head. He could feel his head struggle with the thought of Tugger and Bella as more than friends. He realised that even though he would still think of them both as brother and sister to him he had to think about them differently when they interacted with each other. 'Well as stubborn as Bella is this might not be a problem for some time' he thought to himself. They both were perfect and a disaster to picture together.

* * *

Bella had calmed down enough to meet the others without it being obvious that she had both been crying and angry. Every thought about what Misto said was pushed back, to think about it one second even felt too much. She just had to do what she had done before, push it back and hope that it would solve itself eventually. 'And how well has that worked for you?' a stubborn thought pushed through. 'Everything works out my way in the end' she said to herself and ignored the inner objections.

When she entered the clearing all the kittens were spread out in small groups trying to figure out things to do. Especially Tugger's fan club looked like they had no idea what to do with themselves. Bella let every doubt and worry slip aside and started to sing. At first quite low but she could see some of the kittens react. She let the song grow stronger and soon all of them looked at her with anticipation. 'This is easy' she thought. She had to give it to the kittens that entertaining them was a great distraction.

* * *

Tugger tried to busy himself. He had decided to take his brothers advice and let Bella come to him when she was ready but for a impatient cat like himself that was easy for almost half an hour. He had no idea what to do when Bomba still was gone with Pouncival and he didn't have the fan club to entertain. An old thought made its way into his mind. 'Coricopat and Tantomile had told him this would happen' he realised. This was the young tribe member that would take away all the attention from him. He cursed the twins vagueness and stormed off in the direction of their den.

Tugger was just about to barge into the twins den when he remembered that his impulsive behaviour had gotten him in quite some trouble lately. He decided that he could at least knock first. He knocked on the door and was let in.

"You are angry" said Tantomile.

"Well hello to you too" Tugger muttered and was reminded why he didn't spent too much time in the company of these two. They always knew what was going on and they told you whether they were asked or not.

"There is something we said.." said Coricopat.

"That made you angry.." Tantomile continued.

"Something that was true.." said Coricopat.

"But you wish it wasn't" concluded Tantomile. They both looked at him like they had said something about the weather.

"You knew I was going to lose my fan club and everything and still you just gave me some vague warning" said Tugger and heard how silly he sounded.

"We never said that" said Tantomile

"We said you should be prepared..." Coricopat started.

"To share attention with another young member of the tribe" said Tantomile.

"Why couldn't you just have said that I was going to lose my fan club to Bella?" Tugger blurted out.

"You should be prepared to share attention with another..." Coricopat started.

"Yeah yeah I heard you the first five times" Tugger said.

"But you didn't listen" said Tantomile.

"We said _share_ not lose" Coricopat concluded and Tugger looked up in surprise. That was very clear for coming from the twins.

"So I will share the attention with Bella, how?" he asked and felt that a big part of him wished that he would share something more than just the attention.

"That we didn't see" said Tantomile and Tugger sighed. So much for being clear.

"Well thank you anyway" he said and the twins looked up at him surprised. He realised that he had been apologising a lot more lately than the tribe was used to. "I'll get going, see you around" he said before leaving.

* * *

Bella felt a paw on her shoulder while dancing and stiffened. She was surprised when she turned around and saw Old Deuteronomy.

"I didn't mean to scare you" said the old tom.

"It's ok" said Bella and smiled. Every time she saw him she was remembered how happy she was that he had been saved. 'And that you would have chosen to save him every time if the choice had been up to you' she thought and realised that whatever Macavity had been to her Old Deuteronomy had been everything that was important.

"You seem happy" said Old Deuteronomy and smiled back. "I was just leaving and I wanted to make sure you were ok?" he asked and once again while talking to Bella he cursed himself for putting it that way. Her smile froze a bit before it got bigger but less sincere.

"Of course!" she said and Old Deuteronomy already knew she would even though it didn't seem completely true.

"I can stay a bit longer if you want to?" he tried but Bella shook her head.

"No no you go, you can come back whenever you want to, there will always be room for you in our den" she said and Old Deuteronomy relaxed a bit. It sounded like she was going to be fine, he could just let Munkustrap keep an eye on her.

"Thank you, if there is anything at all you can just send for me, and you have Munk just next door" he reminded her.

"I know, they said I could come over whenever I wanted" said Bella. At first she had been terrified at the thought of being alone during the night again, but she realised that she had to be able to handle being alone and there really wasn't anything to be scared of, she wouldn't be left by her new family.

"Then I will get going" he said. He wanted to make sure once again that Bella knew how much she meant to them all and especially to him but he wasn't sure words could do him justice. He leaned down and picked her up into a hug. Bella was surprised but relaxed and nuzzled his chest.

"I love you..dad" she added. "I am so happy that you gave me a family again" she murmured into his chest and Old Deuteronomy had to do his best not to start crying.

"I love you too Iz" he said when he got his voice under control. Bella let go of her grip and he reluctantly set her down on the ground again. She was a grown queen now and even though he had a hundred more things he wanted to tell her he had to let her come to him if she wanted to. As always it was with a heavy heart he left the junkyard but it felt like his heart had been heavier since he took in Bella. 'Maybe I should start come here more often?' he thought to himself and made a promise to check in with everyone a little more often than he had in the past.


	19. Chapter 19

**So here it is, the last chapter. I was planning on posting it later on but when I read it through I found that I liked it the way it was. There will be an epilogue taking place during the next Jellicle ball, yay! I am really glad to see that so many of you have read it and that some of you even took the time to review, so much love to you all!**

 **Especially a big thank you to QueenOfTheStorms who made me aware that all my lines I put in to mark changes of point of views or time disappears when I copy the text. So now I have edited all previous chapters and hope they will read more easily, let me know if there are other changes that needs to be done!**

 **I don't own Cats but I am good at other stuff.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Bella lay on her bed in the den that was now just her own for the night. She couldn't sleep. She knew that there was nothing to worry about. No secrets left, at least no secrets to those that mattered the most. Nothing could come up that would make her new family abandon her and all she had to do was to close her eyes and fall asleep and they would all be there tomorrow. But it didn't work.

She had thought about going over to Munk and Demeter like she had promised to do if she was lonely but it felt so silly. She was a queen now and even though she hadn't been for long she had to get used to being alone from time to time. 'And what would I say?' she thought. All worries about being alone came from the fears of being left alone, and to say that to Munk after all he and the others had done for her was like telling him she didn't trust that he would be there for her like he said. She turned over for the hundredth time and sighed. She smiled when she thought about what she used to do when these thoughts came and immediately got angry with herself for thinking about Tugger. He had been so nice to her and they had had the best nights together. 'Why didn't that mean anything to him?' she thought at first but then corrected herself. 'It should mean nothing to him, it meant nothing to her as well' she decided but there was a nagging thought about that not being true. 'If he wants to talk, let's talk' she thought with bitterness and stood up. She might as well tell him how little this meant to her as well.

* * *

Tugger sighed deeply. It was useless trying to sleep. He hadn't slept properly for several nights now but he had made up for it by napping during the day when he was with Bomba. But today she hadn't been around and he should be really tired. But no, no sleep for him. He turned over on his mountain of pillows and blankets. It shook the shelf that stood next to them and a jar fell down. Tugger flew up and turned mid air to look at the noise. Halfway out of the jar had a familiar object fallen out. It was the handcuffs that Bella had got herself stuck in on one of the first times she came to his den. He smiled and picked them up. He blushed when the thought of using them with Bella now flashed in his mind. He decidedly pushed the thought as far back in his mind that he could. Tugger raised from the bed, picked the jar up and put them back in on the top shelf. 'Well I am already up now, I might as well do something' he thought but was interrupted when his door flew open. Bella looked at him with eyes that shot arrows. At first he smiled that she had come to him but the smile faded fast when he saw how angry she was.

"Bella!" he said surprised but went silent when she held her paw up.

"You listen to me now Tugger" she hissed and he could feel himself shrinking from the tone in her voice. "Whatever you have told Misto about that kiss it meant nothing, so don't go around and bragg to people about how my love for you saved his life" she continued while her face flushed from both rage and embarrassment. "Don't go around telling people that when it clearly means nothing to you, and take your stupid fan club back all you want so you can make up stories about the other kittens instead!" she shouted and felt close to tears. She saw Tugger looking at her with his mouth half open in surprise and with desperation in his eyes. She turned her look away from him and grabbed her pearl necklace. "And take this stupid necklace and give it to someone who cares!" her voice broke on the last word and when she tugged at the necklace it just tugged at the back of her neck. She had thought it would make a grand scene to pull it from her neck and storm out but the necklace wasn't going anywhere and her eyes were filled to the brim with tears. She felt Tugger's paws grabbing hers and she made an attempt to turn her face away from him so that he wouldn't see her tears.

"Bella?" Tugger said carefully and she couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"Stop it.." she said weakly but she didn't stop him when he put one paw under her chin to make her look up at him. She closed her eyes, making more tears fall down her cheeks. "You don't care anyway" she tried but her voice made it sound like a question more than a statement. "I'm just.." she started but was silenced when Tugger's lips pushed against hers….

Bella was lost. She didn't now for how long but whatever happened around her could have taken a minute or years. When Tugger pulled back she could feel herself leaning towards him to maintain the contact. He kissed her once more and then pulled back again, putting a paw on her shoulder to stop her from following.

"Can I explain?" he asked and cleared his throat. Bella's eyes looked up into his and he forgot what he was going to say, all he could think about was how beautiful she looked.

"Okey" said Bella and Tugger had to pull himself together, this was his chance.

"I never wanted to leave" he started but got interrupted immediately by Bella.

"Then why did you?" she demanded. "I can understand the first time but the second time? After I asked you to come to me..." she whispered looking down at her feet. Tugger winced at the words, he had regretted it so much.

"I shouldn't have ran away the first time either, I should have stayed and if I were with you I could have protected you better against Macavity" he said and realised that this was what he felt worst about, leaving her when she needed him the most.

"You came back at the right time" she said diplomatically but there was something in her voice that made Tugger think he had not been forgiven yet.

"But not the second time?" he asked carefully hoping he was on the right track. Bella looked up at him and he could see some of the anger back in her eyes, he hoped he had not blown the chance yet.

"You shouldn't have left me when I asked you to come to me, but it doesn't matter to you that we are not siblings, because you just kiss anyone you want unless it's a kitten" she said harshly and tried to take a step back from him. Tugger held her in place.

"I was shocked! I had just found out that I had been lied to all my life and that I didn't have a father and a brother anymore, I was angry. And I'm sorry, but all I could think of then was myself, I nearly kicked Tumble's ass-" he said but got interrupted by a surprised look from Bella.

"You did?" she asked out of reflex.

"Almost" said Tugger a bit embarrassed.

"Why?" asked Bella confused.

"Because he mentioned you and I realised what I had left when I ran away" said Tugger and was surprised by a smile from Bella. He smiled back at her. "I came back for you Bella, This means something to me, you mean everything to me" he said but felt himself having a hard time looking her in the eyes. He felt her paw under his chin directing his eyes towards her.

"But all the other queens and kittens?" Bella asked and hated herself for bringing it up.

"In case you haven't noticed there hasn't been any others since I kissed you Bella" he said looking at her pleased with himself.

"Pft I heard the rumours" said Bella but he could hear the tease in her voice.

"I made those rumours up" he said and got two raised eyebrows in return. "I had to protect my reputation" he said and she rolled her eyes. "I could only think of you, I couldn't even entertain my own fan club" he said and felt a bit embarrassed. He was The Rum Tum Tugger, nothing could stop him from being the centre of attention. But apparently someone could.

"Yeah I took care of that for you" she said looking smug. "So...ehm, what will happen now?" Bella asked not feeling as confident as she had moments ago.

"You can decide, but… I'd like to kiss you again" he said feeling a bit silly that his usual seduction skills fell so short with Bella. His heart sank when she took a step back and looked at him with a serious frown.

"How will I know you just don't run away every time?" she asked looking him straight in the eyes. Tugger felt embarrassed again, he took a deep breath before speaking.

"Look Bella, I am a bit impulsive, and I don't seem to control that very well" he started and hoped she would listen to the end. "But it doesn't matter if I run away, I will always come back for you Bella" he said and hoped it was enough.

"It matters to me" said Bella and Tugger could see her stiffen. He took a step forward and held on to her shoulders.

"Then I will have to keep you close so that I am reminded what I lose if I don't stop and think first" he said and she looked up at him with a grin.

"Good enough" she said and leaned in for a kiss. They kissed gently and then Tugger broke the kiss.

"So, will you stay the night?" he asked and Bella nodded. "I have a certain bracelet that I thought I should explain what it really is" he said cocking an eyebrow and feeling very pleased with himself.

"Yeah I figured out what that was months ago Tugger, and we are _not_ doing that tonight" she said and couldn't hold back a laugh when she saw Tugger's jaw drop to the floor. "So what do you want to do instead?" she asked when she was finished laughing.

"Whatever you want Bella" Tugger muttered but he pulled her closer for another kiss.


	20. Epilogue

**Here it is! I would love a review about what you think and please excuse me for writing an epilogue, I usually don't like them but I really wanted to write some Jellicle ball into this story.**

 **I hope you'll like it, I don't own Cats.**

* * *

 **Epilogue**

"It is not up for discussion Bella!" said Munkustrap in frustration. He felt like pulling some of his fur off.

"Well you're right about that at least" muttered Bella and crossed her arms in front of her.

"What do you mean?" said Munk suspiciously, he had never convinced her that easily about anything.

"I mean that it's not up for discussion, I'll do it whenever I want and however I want to" she said looking him in the eyes with a stubborn expression.

"That's not what I meant" said Munk and slowly massaged his temples. "There will be one mating dance, the tom will ask for it and it will take place right after the Jellicle ball dance!" he said waving his arms.

"We'll see" said Bella with a smirk and left him.

"I hate planning the Jellicle ball" muttered Munkustrap to himself. He usually had his hands full with making sure everybody knew where to be at the right time and with Tugger making his interruptions at the worst possible time. He did not need another distraction. But he knew there was no doing anything about it. He groaned at his own phrasing, it was more than enough to handle one Tugger.

* * *

"That was perfect Bella!" said Tugger and gave her a kiss. "Maybe next time you'll be just a little bit more vague, but I loved how you gave him hope there in the middle" he put his arm around her shoulders and led her away as he painted the picture of the perfect way to make Munk have a break down during the ball. Apparently he had done a pretty good job with it last ball. Bella laughed as he told her about the bagpipes.

A couple of days earlier Tugger had come home to their den looking like he had something on his mind that he was ashamed of and Bella had thought he had done something stupid. She was just about to throw him back out when he started explaining. He danced around the subject quite long before he could muster enough courage to get to the point. It turned out he had been thinking back and forth about how the ball would be. They were going to dance the mating dance and he felt that it came with a responsibility he wasn't sure he was prepared for. That was the second time Bella was about to throw him out.

Tugger quickly continued. Bella started laughing as he carefully explained that it was something of a tradition for him to interrupt the ball, preferably as many times as possible. He could absolutely take a step back and refrain from some of it, but he was not ready to give up his own song. "There, I said it!" Tugger said looking up at Bella with one part fear and one part hope. Bella had just kept laughing at him until Tugger looked like he didn't know whether to leave or punch her in the face. She waved her paw in front of her and told him that she had no expectations of him to change such a glorious tradition and suggested they did something together. Tugger's ears perked up at the suggestion. "And that's why I'm claiming you as my mate, what did you have in mind?" he said with a grin.

* * *

Bella was feeling excited about the Jellicle ball. It was her first and she had heard so much about it. It was going to be a memory for life but she also felt a bit sad about none of her parents being there. She shared that with Tugger which had made it easier for them both. They both had the most important cats in their lives there and that was all that mattered. The other cats of the tribe had mostly gotten over the fact that they both called Munkustrap brother and Old Deuteronomy father even though it sometimes sounded weird.

Bella looked over at Tugger who entertained the fan club which now included more young queens than kittens, and one or two toms. Tugger must have felt her gaze because he looked up and smiled at her. She raised an eyebrow and he nodded. It was her time to take over. They both loved being centre of attention but every now and then they had started taking turns. Their official explanation was that they needed the break from attention but they both knew that it was mostly because otherwise they just tried to outdo the other. 'It was lovely to have a special someone who thought you were the centre of their universe but come on, your own fan club, that was something else' thought Bella and was glad the only conflict in that was time management.

* * *

Electra was the first one to notice that the twins had come out to the clearing. They searched the crowd before they found Mistoffelees and smiled. All cats realised that it meant the Jellicle moon would be rising any minute now. Bella looked around and could see all of the other cats coming out into the clearing. She looked at Munk with anticipation knowing he would be the one who sang the first line. "Are you blind when your born?" she heard him sing and from that moment everything seemed to lift. The words and the movements came naturally and she just had to follow. Bella had been concerned that Tugger didn't think she needed to practise anything for the ball. 'All you have to practise is when to interrupt, that's the hard part' he had said. She had of course not taken him by the words and Demeter had helped her with the basics. But even she had stressed that when the ball came everything would come from within and no ball was exactly the same as the previous. Munkustrap planned it carefully but even he knew that you couldn't control everything that the moon projected through them that night.

* * *

Tugger looked over at Bella. He thought he had never seen her look as beautiful as she did in the light of the Jellicle moon. He tried to move closer to her to stand next to her during 'The naming of the cats' and he ended up with her by his side and on her other side stood Munk. He glanced over her at his brother and they both smiled. They had added an extra line with the name Izabella among the sensible everyday names and when they read it they both held out their paws as an introduction of Bella. She looked up at them surprised before they continued. Tugger grinned to himself when he checked of his first interruption. This one with the blessing of, and actually on the initiative, of Munkustrap, but still.

* * *

Bella had convinced Tugger that he really couldn't interrupt Jenny's song again, she thought. Of course he didn't listen. The performance were everything she could have wished for, it was like the usual Tuggerish fan entertainment on steroids. When he got ready to kick the ball she and Misto had changed positions and instead of hitting an unsuspecting Misto like last year Bella caught the ball in her paws. She put the ball under her arm and sarcastically blew a kiss towards Tugger who gaped in surprise. As always he bounced back fast. As he continued to work up the fan club again she made a move towards the second interruption. This was more mutual even though Tugger had no idea exactly when she would stop his song.

"The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore" she sang and leaned down to nuzzle him over the chest. He took a surprised step back but when he realised what she was doing he came closer. They leaned closely and sniffed each other before Bella moved over and scratched her claws gently down his back. She could of course not lift him up but she took one of his paws, spun him around and danced him with her around the other cats, showing him off to them.

Munkustrap was the first one to understand what they were doing and even though he did not approve of the untraditional interruption he felt obligated to show the other cats what was going on. He moved in towards them and sniffed Bella, it was too weird to do it to Tugger no matter how untraditional they wanted to make this.

As Tugger saw Munk reluctantly approving of their own mating dance he switched the roles and moved behind Bella for the high lift. She picked up fast and relaxed in his hold. He scratched her leg and enjoyed the shivers through Bella's body, he purred in her ear. As he let her down he saw that Mistoffelees had moved in close and offered him to put down Bella over his stomach before the rest of the cats caught on and crawled closer to lie down together with them.

"Best day of my life" Tugger whispered in Bella's ear as he felt her whole back rest tightly against his abdomen. He loosened his hold of her when she stirred and turned towards him. She smiled.

"Mine too. So, did I surprise you?" she said looking cheeky.

"Misto owes me a can of tuna, he thought you would go for the interruption during 'curious beast' " Tugger answered with a grin.

"You told him!?" Bella said and punched him gently on the chest.

"Only about the interruption, not the reason for it!" he quickly corrected and Bella smiled.

"Pretty good reason for an interruption huh?" she said.

"The best" answered Tugger.

* * *

 **The End**


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